This is the letter I sent to the American Cancer Society and was selected for a makeover on 19 Aug 2010 along with five other women. It was a great day.
I having meant to put this on here, but I have forgotten (one of the my little side effects). Anyway, I share this with everyone, but I hope it touches every woman's heart:
I write to tell you of my journey with breast cancer with two-fold hopes; that you will select me for a makeover, and that I may inspire another whose journey is just beginning. I am 45 years old and the daughter to parents who died of cancer, a sister to nine siblings, a mother to two sons, and a retired U.S. Army soldier.
In June 2009, while sitting in my office, I received the dreaded phone call that changed my whole world in four simple words: “You have breast cancer.” More words followed, but I heard none of them. In the following weeks, a series of a hundred invasive tests were performed, and I felt humiliated and embarrassed. Everyone was kind and patient, as quietly, I cried on the inside. I couldn’t believe what was happening; I didn’t feel sick, tired maybe , but not sick. I have always taken pretty good care of myself but when my sister was diagnosed as triple negative breast cancer patient in 2007, it got my attention and I got a mammogram. A mammogram caught my cancer early and although BRCA negative, I too, am a triple negative.
From the beginning, I promised myself that I would get up, dress up, and show up and for the most part, I have. I have children, and although grown, this is scary stuff so it was time to put the game face on. With every surgery and setback, I am more determined beat this. Fighting cancer has absolutely been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but it has also been a gift. I look at everything much differently now. Today, six surgeries and several infections later, I will not stay down. I am a mother and a pink warrior. In Spring 2011, I hope to complete a Dual Master’s Degree. Strangely enough, college has been a source of strength for me; a way to help me maintain control of my life. It keeps me focused and it sets the bar pretty high for my children, too.
I have poured my heart into a blog, in a positive manner, in hopes to inspire someone else. I hope it has. One of my first entries in June 2009 was this:
“I am frightened, but I have faith. I am educated, but not in this. So, what's a girl to do? Put my faith in God and know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be today. And that's enough for me.”
And so, I reflect on that passage and say, “Everything is moving along. I am still a little frightened at times, but I am not afraid because I have educated myself in this disease. I place my faith in God, always, and still believe that I am exactly where he wants me to be… today, and everyday… and that is all I ask for.
The bottom line is that in the last year, I have lost my breasts, my memory, all of my hair, my dignity, my strength, and even fake friends; however, I have never lost hope, faith, my family, my sense of humor or real friends.
My life has been a roller coaster of tears, fears, hope, prayer, hugs, help, and every other source of assistance imaginable. My friends and family are closer to me than I could have ever imagined and for which I am eternally grateful. My tush may be bigger, but so is my heart. I’ve lost much, but I've gained so much more out of life and each day is a beautiful gift. I am committed to living my life and not just merely existing in it. Not just for me, but for others like me.
My message for women: You are never alone. I know how you can be in a room of 50 people and feel completely alone, but shrug it off and get back out there. Define your cancer; do not let it define you. Put your face on it, not vice versa, and then walk this chosen path with your head held high. Have a positive attitude, and smile, and the world will smile with you.
As for me, I am committed to helping women. Even today there is still a taboo about breast cancer; I want to break it and keep talking about it - whatever it takes. No woman should ever go through this feeling alone.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Catching up
The last few weeks have flown by and I have stayed very busy with work, school and my new-old passion....jogging. Jogging at a very, very slow pace. It is my hope that after last year's Making Strides event that I can jog it this year on 23 Oct. Last year I just barely completed it, but I was just two days out of chemo and only two weeks out from being hit by a truck and still had a concussion and back and leg issues.
I want to do this not just for me, but for every woman out there who has ever had, and who ever will have breast cancer. If you are reading this, let me remind you of good news in the fight against breast cancer, research has made exceptional strides and nowadays this disease is not necessarily a death sentence. Re-read that and repeat it to yourself. It CAN and is being incorporated and managed by thousands of women all over the world. There IS hope, so don't you give up, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.....Not everyone will make it, but HOPE and faith, and prayer are very powerful.
This journey has brought me closer to my God, my family, my friends (old and new) and to a disease that took the lives of both of my parents. While I am not fond of this relationship one bit, this is the path chosen for me and that being the case, I shall hold my head high and hope that somehow I can assist just one other person each day in their journey. If it's you, I hope you respond back to me. My friend, Lari-Lane, passed away recently and when I logged back on to make some notes, I found a message here from her sister. THAT touched me more that words can convey.
My next post on here will be the memo to the American Cancer Society, the one that got me selected for the makeover with five other phenomenal women. This coming month, in October, we will be featured in the Space Coast Charm Magazine. I am both humbled and honored by this but again, I say, my goal is not publicity of me, but of this disease to help reach someone else who may need a hand, or a heart.
The Spice Rack. My own personal team of seven women from my office that have been fund raising for the Making Strides event. I am SO proud of: Mary, Angie, Donna, Dee, Jill, and Adrienne for all their efforts. As of Saturday evening we were over $2800!! That is amazing and the efforts of only seven - imagine what 7,000 women can raise!! I hope you will join us in our efforts. Please consider a small donation to Making Strides Against Breast Cancer at:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11Florida?px=15738629&pg=personal&fr_id=28015
Love to all. Have a blessed week!
I want to do this not just for me, but for every woman out there who has ever had, and who ever will have breast cancer. If you are reading this, let me remind you of good news in the fight against breast cancer, research has made exceptional strides and nowadays this disease is not necessarily a death sentence. Re-read that and repeat it to yourself. It CAN and is being incorporated and managed by thousands of women all over the world. There IS hope, so don't you give up, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.....Not everyone will make it, but HOPE and faith, and prayer are very powerful.
This journey has brought me closer to my God, my family, my friends (old and new) and to a disease that took the lives of both of my parents. While I am not fond of this relationship one bit, this is the path chosen for me and that being the case, I shall hold my head high and hope that somehow I can assist just one other person each day in their journey. If it's you, I hope you respond back to me. My friend, Lari-Lane, passed away recently and when I logged back on to make some notes, I found a message here from her sister. THAT touched me more that words can convey.
My next post on here will be the memo to the American Cancer Society, the one that got me selected for the makeover with five other phenomenal women. This coming month, in October, we will be featured in the Space Coast Charm Magazine. I am both humbled and honored by this but again, I say, my goal is not publicity of me, but of this disease to help reach someone else who may need a hand, or a heart.
The Spice Rack. My own personal team of seven women from my office that have been fund raising for the Making Strides event. I am SO proud of: Mary, Angie, Donna, Dee, Jill, and Adrienne for all their efforts. As of Saturday evening we were over $2800!! That is amazing and the efforts of only seven - imagine what 7,000 women can raise!! I hope you will join us in our efforts. Please consider a small donation to Making Strides Against Breast Cancer at:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11Florida?px=15738629&pg=personal&fr_id=28015
Love to all. Have a blessed week!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Goodbye Lari-Lane
I walked into my office to not one, but two heart breaks this morning. The husband of one of our officers passed away from lung cancer last night. It all happened so fast that I'm certain that my friend and co-worker must be completely distraught. I'm still stunned. May Tim rest in peace.
The next shock that sent me reeling was several face book messages, thank you everyone, notifying me of a dear friend's passing. Lari-Lane Payne, retired U.S. Army Master Sergeant, Mother, Sister, amazing and phenomenal woman and friend.
I am surely a better woman myself for having known you and I am deeply, deeply saddened by the world's loss today. You were always a great friend to me - especially during this last year when I myself fought this battle. You didn't tell me your cancer was back even all the while when you were donating to my charities....and I was on your list of causes on FB...go figure - just goes to show the kind of woman you have always been. I have many stories to tell the kids and grandchildren, and one day, I hope they ask me, because I will make them smile and laugh. Remember when I took off my rank and walked out? You took me by the hand and said "Hey, go take care of your son and come back, everything will be fine." And it was.
I will miss you so my friend. May your soul rest in hands of Jesus Christ...Today, my tears fall for you, but I know in my heart that you are in a wonderful place. One day, we will meet again and until then via condios.....
The next shock that sent me reeling was several face book messages, thank you everyone, notifying me of a dear friend's passing. Lari-Lane Payne, retired U.S. Army Master Sergeant, Mother, Sister, amazing and phenomenal woman and friend.
I am surely a better woman myself for having known you and I am deeply, deeply saddened by the world's loss today. You were always a great friend to me - especially during this last year when I myself fought this battle. You didn't tell me your cancer was back even all the while when you were donating to my charities....and I was on your list of causes on FB...go figure - just goes to show the kind of woman you have always been. I have many stories to tell the kids and grandchildren, and one day, I hope they ask me, because I will make them smile and laugh. Remember when I took off my rank and walked out? You took me by the hand and said "Hey, go take care of your son and come back, everything will be fine." And it was.
I will miss you so my friend. May your soul rest in hands of Jesus Christ...Today, my tears fall for you, but I know in my heart that you are in a wonderful place. One day, we will meet again and until then via condios.....
Monday, September 6, 2010
Tickets
Well, as of this evening, I'm only $112 away from my $1000 goal towards my Making Strides campaign - anything additional will be an awesome bonus! I'm still selling raffle tickets and that is not going as good as I'd hoped it would be, but it is what it is, at least some funds will come from it and someone will have a beautiful quilt.
I've ordered a few more things to sell off. The pink rubber bracelets that say HOPE and FAITH that will sell for $1 and pink "courage" magnetized photo frames that will sell for $2. Again, I willingly dropped more of my own into this endeavor and now I just pray that people will enjoy what I am offering at these exceptional prices and support the campaign. Lord, please hear my prayer.
I have so many to thank for their support. My ex-husband, Russ and his company, Aarchcasters in Fenton, MO; Melbourne Police Officer John Pasko and Families of the Shield; Angela Sigman, Lari-Lane Payne; Don Carey; Country Bingo Patrons; Eric Wiggers; Jennifer Hayduk; Jim Gibbens; Kim Doty; Lilly Rodriguez; Mary Burns; Mike Asbury; Jeri Keefe; and my sister, Sherry Smith. And so many more still that have bought a ticket for a chance at the quilt. I thank you monumentally. Cancer is the meanest thing I've ever come across, and with your help, we will be one step closer in finding a cure. Mothers, daughters, sisters, and children alike....thank you for your generosity - you are our angels and you will be doubly blessed for your kindness.
I've ordered a few more things to sell off. The pink rubber bracelets that say HOPE and FAITH that will sell for $1 and pink "courage" magnetized photo frames that will sell for $2. Again, I willingly dropped more of my own into this endeavor and now I just pray that people will enjoy what I am offering at these exceptional prices and support the campaign. Lord, please hear my prayer.
I have so many to thank for their support. My ex-husband, Russ and his company, Aarchcasters in Fenton, MO; Melbourne Police Officer John Pasko and Families of the Shield; Angela Sigman, Lari-Lane Payne; Don Carey; Country Bingo Patrons; Eric Wiggers; Jennifer Hayduk; Jim Gibbens; Kim Doty; Lilly Rodriguez; Mary Burns; Mike Asbury; Jeri Keefe; and my sister, Sherry Smith. And so many more still that have bought a ticket for a chance at the quilt. I thank you monumentally. Cancer is the meanest thing I've ever come across, and with your help, we will be one step closer in finding a cure. Mothers, daughters, sisters, and children alike....thank you for your generosity - you are our angels and you will be doubly blessed for your kindness.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Bits and pieces
This morning, I received quite a phone call. Charm magazine, located here on the Spacecoast, called me to tell me they want to feature me in their October issue as part of the Cancer awareness issue. My cup runneth over! Now, I just hope I can live up to such expectations as I'm sure some amazing women have come before me. In thinking about it today, I hope to reach other women who have, or are, enduring breast cancer. It can be quite a lonely journey, and sometimes, we find solace in the most unusual places. Right? Anyway, a gift from God to me, and I hope I serve them well.
Lesson for the day: The immune system is sort of its own system and it circulates via our lymph vessels which are throughout our body (except the brain). The lymphatic vessels contain a pale, thick fluid (lymph) consisting of a fat-laden liquid and white blood cells. All the icky stuff that needs to drain from your body goes through the lymph system so it is important!
Borrowing from another site, I provide more background: along the vessels are the lymph nodes, tonsils, bone marrow, spleen, liver, lungs, and intestines--where lymphocytes can be deployed as part of the immune response. It works or can be seen at work when an infection leads to an enlarged lymph node at the elbow, or when a throat infection causes the lymph nodes under the jaw to swell. The lymph nodes swell because the lymphatic vessels drain the infection by carrying it to the nearest area where an immune response can be organized.
So what does this mean? If you are a breast cancer patient who has had lymph nodes removed, it means your lymph system will slow down on the side of removal and you must encourage it everyday to prevent lymphedema. Each morning I do 20 crunches and 20 pulleys (from an over the door system) to prevent swelling. If swelling gets into my arm, it means trouble. So, practice prevention and always wash thoroughly, especially cuts, nails, etc. The tiniest of cuts can cause a big problem.
Back to work on school projects! Two more classes after this and I AM DONE!!
Hugs to all~
Lesson for the day: The immune system is sort of its own system and it circulates via our lymph vessels which are throughout our body (except the brain). The lymphatic vessels contain a pale, thick fluid (lymph) consisting of a fat-laden liquid and white blood cells. All the icky stuff that needs to drain from your body goes through the lymph system so it is important!
Borrowing from another site, I provide more background: along the vessels are the lymph nodes, tonsils, bone marrow, spleen, liver, lungs, and intestines--where lymphocytes can be deployed as part of the immune response. It works or can be seen at work when an infection leads to an enlarged lymph node at the elbow, or when a throat infection causes the lymph nodes under the jaw to swell. The lymph nodes swell because the lymphatic vessels drain the infection by carrying it to the nearest area where an immune response can be organized.
So what does this mean? If you are a breast cancer patient who has had lymph nodes removed, it means your lymph system will slow down on the side of removal and you must encourage it everyday to prevent lymphedema. Each morning I do 20 crunches and 20 pulleys (from an over the door system) to prevent swelling. If swelling gets into my arm, it means trouble. So, practice prevention and always wash thoroughly, especially cuts, nails, etc. The tiniest of cuts can cause a big problem.
Back to work on school projects! Two more classes after this and I AM DONE!!
Hugs to all~
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Raffle - QUILT
I'm raffling off a quilt for Making Strides for Breast Cancer. Tickets are 1 for $2, 3 for $5 and 5 for $10! I hope you will/can support this. All proceeds will go to Making Strides, including my investment.
Many, many thanks to my co-worker, Stephenie who donated her time and made the quilt, while her own grandson is fighting to recover from cancer as well.
See Photographs! hugs~
Many, many thanks to my co-worker, Stephenie who donated her time and made the quilt, while her own grandson is fighting to recover from cancer as well.
See Photographs! hugs~
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Lately
I'm not sure I've reiterated it lately, but I am very grateful to still be kicking around and I thank the good Lord every day when I awake. I know how lucky I am.....
I realize that not every day will be spectacular, but I believe that it is what we make it and until this cancer struck me, I was just moseying through....but not anymore. I do everything..."more". I love more, I live my life "more", I believe in others "more", and there is such a personal reward to my days in all of it. If I had one recommendation today, it would be to "do everything more"....and feel the difference.
Hugs ~
I realize that not every day will be spectacular, but I believe that it is what we make it and until this cancer struck me, I was just moseying through....but not anymore. I do everything..."more". I love more, I live my life "more", I believe in others "more", and there is such a personal reward to my days in all of it. If I had one recommendation today, it would be to "do everything more"....and feel the difference.
Hugs ~
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sunday
Thursday was the Extreme Makeover day, graciously sponsored by The Avenue Viera and hosted by Making Strides. It was an amazing day. Tangles Salon, Patchington's, Pizza Gallery, Hot Rayz Limousines,Belk, and others were involved in making this day a large success. Several times my eyes blurred as I reveled in the moment or shared a quiet moment with one of the other ladies. Cancer is not fun, it's goal is to take your life, and Thursday was a way in taking ours back.
At 0830, our driver, Billy, picked us (myself and 5 other breast cancer patients) up at the Holiday Inn. We departed straight to Tangles Salon in Rockledge where each of had our hair, nails, and toes done. We were there from about 0900-1500. These ladies had closed off their salon to give us their undivided attention. We had coffee and donuts available and a lunch catered in so there would be plenty of time to get everything done. And right at 3:00, we were exiting out the door just about on schedule. Many thanks to Lisa and all the ladies there who made our morning and afternoon so special. Most of them were even able to make the opening ceremonies that night - THAT says a lot about the kind of people these women are.
Next, we were taken, again by Billy, to Belk, to have our makeup done by the ladies at the counters. And then on to Patchington's where we all got dressed into our outfits that we wore that night. From the morning to evening photographs, there was a clear difference and we had thoroughly enjoyed the day meeting and greeting everyone. Once dressed, we were taken back to the Holiday Inn where we realized there were about 200 people awaiting our arrival!! I was a little taken aback, but I felt great. I was with some phenomenal women and each with their own story, and own journey. A sisterhood for sure.
We walked in one at a time with a big pink umbrella covering our faces while the announcer read part of our story to the crowd. When she said our name, *poof* down with the umbrella and a walk down the aisle for everyone to see our makeovers. From the photo's, you can see that I was dressed in black pants, a floral top and a lambskin jacket. Ooooh, that jacket is fine and it is now in my closet. ;) Several people took pictures and I finally learned what it must be like on the "red carpet" for stars - a bit overwhelming to say the least. But it was great...an day and evening filled with unforgettable memories.
I would like to give a special thanks to Pam, Denise, and Lana S. for all their efforts in pulling this together. This is my written promise to you that I want to help you next year with this event.
At 0830, our driver, Billy, picked us (myself and 5 other breast cancer patients) up at the Holiday Inn. We departed straight to Tangles Salon in Rockledge where each of had our hair, nails, and toes done. We were there from about 0900-1500. These ladies had closed off their salon to give us their undivided attention. We had coffee and donuts available and a lunch catered in so there would be plenty of time to get everything done. And right at 3:00, we were exiting out the door just about on schedule. Many thanks to Lisa and all the ladies there who made our morning and afternoon so special. Most of them were even able to make the opening ceremonies that night - THAT says a lot about the kind of people these women are.
Next, we were taken, again by Billy, to Belk, to have our makeup done by the ladies at the counters. And then on to Patchington's where we all got dressed into our outfits that we wore that night. From the morning to evening photographs, there was a clear difference and we had thoroughly enjoyed the day meeting and greeting everyone. Once dressed, we were taken back to the Holiday Inn where we realized there were about 200 people awaiting our arrival!! I was a little taken aback, but I felt great. I was with some phenomenal women and each with their own story, and own journey. A sisterhood for sure.
We walked in one at a time with a big pink umbrella covering our faces while the announcer read part of our story to the crowd. When she said our name, *poof* down with the umbrella and a walk down the aisle for everyone to see our makeovers. From the photo's, you can see that I was dressed in black pants, a floral top and a lambskin jacket. Ooooh, that jacket is fine and it is now in my closet. ;) Several people took pictures and I finally learned what it must be like on the "red carpet" for stars - a bit overwhelming to say the least. But it was great...an day and evening filled with unforgettable memories.
I would like to give a special thanks to Pam, Denise, and Lana S. for all their efforts in pulling this together. This is my written promise to you that I want to help you next year with this event.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Big Day ahead
Well, tomorrow will be a big day, but today I got big news. My CA 15-3 Cancer marker news came back good - it was a 6! The other test, CA 27.29 came back as a 16, which means that I am still in remission and good to go. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me one more reason to be grateful for this day.
I was in my car leaving the aquatic center where I was taking photo's of our Dive Team doing annual testing when I got the call. When I hung up, the tears flowed. It's hard to explain because I am full of hope that I will continue to beat this and get back some sense of normalcy, but just hearing that everything is "ok" resonates very deep in me and I know that my hope and faith, and the prayers of everyone is really, really working.
Tomorrow is my big day. Making Strides and the American Cancer Society is providing me and 5 other ladies with a wonderful makeover in Viera. I am looking forward to it.
Have a wonderful evening! I'll post pictures from tomorrow and this weekend's event later this weekend! Hugs~
I was in my car leaving the aquatic center where I was taking photo's of our Dive Team doing annual testing when I got the call. When I hung up, the tears flowed. It's hard to explain because I am full of hope that I will continue to beat this and get back some sense of normalcy, but just hearing that everything is "ok" resonates very deep in me and I know that my hope and faith, and the prayers of everyone is really, really working.
Tomorrow is my big day. Making Strides and the American Cancer Society is providing me and 5 other ladies with a wonderful makeover in Viera. I am looking forward to it.
Have a wonderful evening! I'll post pictures from tomorrow and this weekend's event later this weekend! Hugs~
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Link
Hi everyone - For some reason, the pink box link above does not work correctly. If you wish to donate to Making Strides, please use this link instead:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11Florida?px=15738629&pg=personal&fr_id=28015
Again, your donations will be used for important research that WILL one day save someone's life from breast cancer. I have no doubt that it has saved mine and my sister Pam.
Love to all.
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11Florida?px=15738629&pg=personal&fr_id=28015
Again, your donations will be used for important research that WILL one day save someone's life from breast cancer. I have no doubt that it has saved mine and my sister Pam.
Love to all.
Monday, August 16, 2010
14 Months and One Birthday ago.....Making Strides Ever Since
One week ago, I got to celebrate my birthday, an event I really wasn’t sure I would live to see. I continue to hope that one day breast cancer won’t steal another year from anyone and we will have a world with less breast cancer and more birthdays. There are about 60 days left to go before our Making Strides walk…I hope you can find a way to support this magnificent organization. I have a link here on my page.
I also have a friend of mine donating her services to making a quilt that I will be raffling off. She said it will take her two weeks to make. I bought the colors today. It will have pink, a deeper maroon, a cream color, and tan also. The pinker colors are butterflies, which I carefully selected on behalf of my bosom buddy Adrienne, who continues her brave battle with Stage 4 BC. For Relay for Life, the name of the group was Butterflies of Hope and when I saw the butterflies, I knew it was meant to be a part of the quilt.
Anyone wanting to purchase a raffle ticket, please let me know. I am going to sell the tickets for one for $2, 3 for $5, and five for $10. My goal for this year is to reach $1,000 to go to Making Strides - of which I already have almost $385 in donations from several generous friends and family. As soon as I can, I will get a photo posted on here.
I'm off for my outfit fitting for Thursday's makeover that Making Strides has so generously selected me for.
And school starts again tomorrow night - I've decided to tack on the other two courses to get a dual master's degree if my health continues to improve. Wish me good health.... ;)
Love to all ~
I also have a friend of mine donating her services to making a quilt that I will be raffling off. She said it will take her two weeks to make. I bought the colors today. It will have pink, a deeper maroon, a cream color, and tan also. The pinker colors are butterflies, which I carefully selected on behalf of my bosom buddy Adrienne, who continues her brave battle with Stage 4 BC. For Relay for Life, the name of the group was Butterflies of Hope and when I saw the butterflies, I knew it was meant to be a part of the quilt.
Anyone wanting to purchase a raffle ticket, please let me know. I am going to sell the tickets for one for $2, 3 for $5, and five for $10. My goal for this year is to reach $1,000 to go to Making Strides - of which I already have almost $385 in donations from several generous friends and family. As soon as I can, I will get a photo posted on here.
I'm off for my outfit fitting for Thursday's makeover that Making Strides has so generously selected me for.
And school starts again tomorrow night - I've decided to tack on the other two courses to get a dual master's degree if my health continues to improve. Wish me good health.... ;)
Love to all ~
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Making Strides
I have almost reached my current goal of $300 for the ACS Making Strides Campaign. When I make that, I will up the ante some - maybe to $400 if I have enough time. Everyone has been very supportive to me during my quest to raise funds to continue to support research for breast cancer and I'm very grateful.
This organization goes all out every year to help support the American Cancer Society and having had four members (including myself) of my immediate family with cancer, (both my parents succumbed to it) I honestly believe that our best shot at a healthy future is going to be based on research. I also want there to be a difference for others - I want there to be a cure so no one has to endure breast cancer.
Again, many thanks to all who continue to support this wonderful organization, your money will be wisely used for research.....
God bless!
This organization goes all out every year to help support the American Cancer Society and having had four members (including myself) of my immediate family with cancer, (both my parents succumbed to it) I honestly believe that our best shot at a healthy future is going to be based on research. I also want there to be a difference for others - I want there to be a cure so no one has to endure breast cancer.
Again, many thanks to all who continue to support this wonderful organization, your money will be wisely used for research.....
God bless!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
MAKING STRIDES
I forgot to share my Making Strides Campaign page with you. It is:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11Florida?px=15738629&pg=personal&fr_id=28015
If you have an extra dollar, or find extra change in the bottom of your purse, I would greatly appreciate the donation to Making Strides (American Cancer Society).
I lost both my parents to cancer and my sister and I are both Triple Negative breast cancer patients. One day, I believe there will be a cure, but until then, I have to keep hoping that folks will help me support the mission to keep research going.
Thank you!!
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11Florida?px=15738629&pg=personal&fr_id=28015
If you have an extra dollar, or find extra change in the bottom of your purse, I would greatly appreciate the donation to Making Strides (American Cancer Society).
I lost both my parents to cancer and my sister and I are both Triple Negative breast cancer patients. One day, I believe there will be a cure, but until then, I have to keep hoping that folks will help me support the mission to keep research going.
Thank you!!
Mammogram? Check~
It's been a whirlwind these last two weeks. My son was in town, I finished a class, and I've been working on my house. But, I just logged on to read that one of my friends went and got her mammogram. Ladies, that's what this blog has truly become about - YOU and ensuring that you take the time to take care of yourself, and doing so means getting your annual check ups. Yayyy Donna - now, keep passing the word to other women so they don't forget or get overwhelmed by their schedules.
So, this last week, I also learned that I will be receiving a makeover, compliments of the American Cancer Society's "Making Strides". I will be picked up by a limo and whisked away for a hair cut and color, mani and pedi, and an outfit. We will then be taken back to where the opening dinner ceremony for Making Strides is being held and seated at a VIP table with Mike and Mindy (DJ's). Many thanks to Anne, Lana, and everyone involved in making this happen. I know you've put forth great effort already. I am looking forward to this, it's been awhile since I've felt good about myself, so maybe a little change will help. Funny, that's all this last year has been about...change......keep it coming.
I spent my birthday at Tampa getting my tests and meeting my new Oncologist. Also learned that my right arm has started to swell, so I'm now wearing the compression sleeve. That's ok, it doesn't look really bad and once you get used to it, it feels ok. By design, the goal of the compression sleeve is to get the extra fluids out of the arm and I just remeasured my wrist, elbow area, and the upper arm area and in just two days, the swelling is back down.
In speaking to my Occupational Therapist, Wanda, when you've had lymph nodes taken out, you have to be extra careful with any cuts, bruising, and swelling of the arm the nodes were removed from. It is very, very important to keep the swelling under control, because it is not just water, it is "junk" building up. One of the things she told me to do to get my lymph system moving in the morning is when I first wake up, do 20 crunches/sit ups. That will get that mid-section, that is so critical to the lymph system, moving properly and help prevent swelling.
Keeping the faith till next week when my next CA -15-3 test comes back. I hope the numbers are still down to an "8" or below. If so, that will mean I am still in remission. And I feel pretty good....
Anyway, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, enjoy your day. Wishing you a very special evening and weekend....hugs to all.
So, this last week, I also learned that I will be receiving a makeover, compliments of the American Cancer Society's "Making Strides". I will be picked up by a limo and whisked away for a hair cut and color, mani and pedi, and an outfit. We will then be taken back to where the opening dinner ceremony for Making Strides is being held and seated at a VIP table with Mike and Mindy (DJ's). Many thanks to Anne, Lana, and everyone involved in making this happen. I know you've put forth great effort already. I am looking forward to this, it's been awhile since I've felt good about myself, so maybe a little change will help. Funny, that's all this last year has been about...change......keep it coming.
I spent my birthday at Tampa getting my tests and meeting my new Oncologist. Also learned that my right arm has started to swell, so I'm now wearing the compression sleeve. That's ok, it doesn't look really bad and once you get used to it, it feels ok. By design, the goal of the compression sleeve is to get the extra fluids out of the arm and I just remeasured my wrist, elbow area, and the upper arm area and in just two days, the swelling is back down.
In speaking to my Occupational Therapist, Wanda, when you've had lymph nodes taken out, you have to be extra careful with any cuts, bruising, and swelling of the arm the nodes were removed from. It is very, very important to keep the swelling under control, because it is not just water, it is "junk" building up. One of the things she told me to do to get my lymph system moving in the morning is when I first wake up, do 20 crunches/sit ups. That will get that mid-section, that is so critical to the lymph system, moving properly and help prevent swelling.
Keeping the faith till next week when my next CA -15-3 test comes back. I hope the numbers are still down to an "8" or below. If so, that will mean I am still in remission. And I feel pretty good....
Anyway, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, enjoy your day. Wishing you a very special evening and weekend....hugs to all.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
A Good Week
Hello all - I have been so busy with school and work these last weeks, and it still wears me down. By the time the sun goes down, I'm shutting down myself, which leaves little time to do anything else.
I have been busy around the house also. My son is coming home with his girlfriend, who I get to meet for the first time, so I am very excited. We have a great weekend planned and I just hope and pray my strength holds out. I know my excitement level will for sure, but the sun does a number on me. I have found that the neuro issues I have are worse when I am in the sun. Interesting, considering I am a Leo, and I have always loved the warm sun on me. Nowadays, I have to stay out of it. But this weekend, I will venture in and continue to live my life. My time is precious, and my time with my son irreplaceable, so we will have fun! :)
My hair is making a comeback - and I'm having fun with it. Have added another new photo. It is now a whole three inches long! Woohoo. That is actually quite amazing when you consider all the drugs and damage my body has been through this last year. I don't take it for granted; I revel in the thought that I am taking baby steps and regaining part of my former self, but becoming a better person in this journey.
And now for my monthly preaching:
Each day I am committed to helping women fight breast cancer. The best way I know how to do that is to tell you this: Know yourself, know your body, know your doctor - Get your mammograms. I can not emphasize enough, even today, how critical the timing of my mammogram was. An error of just a couple of weeks would have made a HUGE difference in my survivability. Please, if you are reading this, please, take the time to do your monthly self-exams, listen to your body and get your mammograms. If there is any history in your immediate family of breast cancer, take it seriously as a knock on your door. Science is an amazing gift to all of us and they are making strides in breast cancer, but women must be proactive in their own care. Your doctor cares about you, but they also care about the 500 other patients they have - so help them help you.
Have a blessed week....hugs to all.
I have been busy around the house also. My son is coming home with his girlfriend, who I get to meet for the first time, so I am very excited. We have a great weekend planned and I just hope and pray my strength holds out. I know my excitement level will for sure, but the sun does a number on me. I have found that the neuro issues I have are worse when I am in the sun. Interesting, considering I am a Leo, and I have always loved the warm sun on me. Nowadays, I have to stay out of it. But this weekend, I will venture in and continue to live my life. My time is precious, and my time with my son irreplaceable, so we will have fun! :)
My hair is making a comeback - and I'm having fun with it. Have added another new photo. It is now a whole three inches long! Woohoo. That is actually quite amazing when you consider all the drugs and damage my body has been through this last year. I don't take it for granted; I revel in the thought that I am taking baby steps and regaining part of my former self, but becoming a better person in this journey.
And now for my monthly preaching:
Each day I am committed to helping women fight breast cancer. The best way I know how to do that is to tell you this: Know yourself, know your body, know your doctor - Get your mammograms. I can not emphasize enough, even today, how critical the timing of my mammogram was. An error of just a couple of weeks would have made a HUGE difference in my survivability. Please, if you are reading this, please, take the time to do your monthly self-exams, listen to your body and get your mammograms. If there is any history in your immediate family of breast cancer, take it seriously as a knock on your door. Science is an amazing gift to all of us and they are making strides in breast cancer, but women must be proactive in their own care. Your doctor cares about you, but they also care about the 500 other patients they have - so help them help you.
Have a blessed week....hugs to all.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Another Day
Another beautiful day has graced me yet again. It was filled with the regular chaos that just happens to be my work and school life, but it is what I thrive on.
Somehow, I never imagined me saying this, but my chest looks good this week. I've been watching it very close and praying hard for no more infections. Six surgeries has been awfully hard on my body and I'm exhausted. But when I get really tired I just ask for the strength to get up, dress up, and show up. Or as a new friend accidently said, get up, dress up and shut up?? She was a little confused - I'll never shut up. :)
I volunteered at one of the colleges to do a criminal justice interview today. I acted as an aunt of a deceased (murdered) niece and the class ultimately tried to pin it on me! They did a pretty good job for being new students so kudo's to CJ students in Dexter's class....you almost got my shoes! LOL
Tropical Depression Bonnie is down near the Bahama's. El Nina' is on the warpath - or as my son and I were talking - "The bitch is back". I'm glad she's not strengthening any further for all our sakes. But we can sure use the incoming rain.
Sometimes, don't you just have lean a little to the side and wonder....."What the hell is wrong with our society"..... I read news that the VA in St. Louis has tragically deprived some veterans of basic rights. What do I mean by that? Well, they went to the VA dentist for treatment and the facility was not properly sterilizing the equipment. Now, many soldiers will suffer the consequences of those lazy employees. Suffering can and already has come in the form of Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, and HIV. Now that's some scary stuff considering I myself used the one downtown years ago. Someone's head needs to spin and I am serious. I will closely follow this case. I have dealt with that VA before as I retired out of St. Louis and I remember thinking "I will never come here if I don't have to" because it is in horrible condition. Why? Why would we treat our soldiers who defend this country like they are dirt and not worthy of a clean facility at the very minimum? I'm quite distressed over that.
I feel fairly lucky to be able to go to Tampa VA. I have said many times that I have received good care there, and I mean that. I have had infections that I think could have been prevented, however, they took immediate action and took care of me.
I went back to look at my class information - arrgghh - I thought I was done in December...but it looks like March with graduation in May and that depends on what classes are offered. Sometimes my little chemo fog can be a good thing.....BUT I am totally ok with it, I am enjoying going to school and meeting people and learning some new things. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the class I'm saving till the end Business Finance...ouch. I hear it difficult and it is my weakness so that means for 9 weeks, I will be doing whatever it takes to get through it.
Wishing you all a peaceful and safe weekend. A special e-hug to two people Kellie, whose Daddy just got out of the hospital - it was a tought few days for her, and Adrienne, who after months of chemo, started radiation today. You are in my thoughts and prayers ladies. Love to all~ know that I carry you with me always.
Somehow, I never imagined me saying this, but my chest looks good this week. I've been watching it very close and praying hard for no more infections. Six surgeries has been awfully hard on my body and I'm exhausted. But when I get really tired I just ask for the strength to get up, dress up, and show up. Or as a new friend accidently said, get up, dress up and shut up?? She was a little confused - I'll never shut up. :)
I volunteered at one of the colleges to do a criminal justice interview today. I acted as an aunt of a deceased (murdered) niece and the class ultimately tried to pin it on me! They did a pretty good job for being new students so kudo's to CJ students in Dexter's class....you almost got my shoes! LOL
Tropical Depression Bonnie is down near the Bahama's. El Nina' is on the warpath - or as my son and I were talking - "The bitch is back". I'm glad she's not strengthening any further for all our sakes. But we can sure use the incoming rain.
Sometimes, don't you just have lean a little to the side and wonder....."What the hell is wrong with our society"..... I read news that the VA in St. Louis has tragically deprived some veterans of basic rights. What do I mean by that? Well, they went to the VA dentist for treatment and the facility was not properly sterilizing the equipment. Now, many soldiers will suffer the consequences of those lazy employees. Suffering can and already has come in the form of Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, and HIV. Now that's some scary stuff considering I myself used the one downtown years ago. Someone's head needs to spin and I am serious. I will closely follow this case. I have dealt with that VA before as I retired out of St. Louis and I remember thinking "I will never come here if I don't have to" because it is in horrible condition. Why? Why would we treat our soldiers who defend this country like they are dirt and not worthy of a clean facility at the very minimum? I'm quite distressed over that.
I feel fairly lucky to be able to go to Tampa VA. I have said many times that I have received good care there, and I mean that. I have had infections that I think could have been prevented, however, they took immediate action and took care of me.
I went back to look at my class information - arrgghh - I thought I was done in December...but it looks like March with graduation in May and that depends on what classes are offered. Sometimes my little chemo fog can be a good thing.....BUT I am totally ok with it, I am enjoying going to school and meeting people and learning some new things. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the class I'm saving till the end Business Finance...ouch. I hear it difficult and it is my weakness so that means for 9 weeks, I will be doing whatever it takes to get through it.
Wishing you all a peaceful and safe weekend. A special e-hug to two people Kellie, whose Daddy just got out of the hospital - it was a tought few days for her, and Adrienne, who after months of chemo, started radiation today. You are in my thoughts and prayers ladies. Love to all~ know that I carry you with me always.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The new normal
Hello everyone. Well, as I said in my last post there will always be good days and not so good days. I don't really believe in bad days. Any day where I can stand up and thank the good Lord for giving me another day is a good day.
That being said, I returned to Tampa to recon and inquired with them about HBOT (Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy) and they shot me down. At first I was a little distressed because I've had several setbacks, but once I put it all in perspective, I realize that my particular situation, while not great, is not as bad as what that therapy was created for (according to Dr. G). You really need wounds that do not heal at all, etc to qualify for the treatment and although breast cancer patients are just now being looked at, they are not being considered at Tampa VA. I think they are missing the boat, and even Leslie thought so. Enough that she said she is going to provide further input on my behalf for it. Apparently, my "infection" on the right side is a stitch working its way out...Did you know it can take six months to a year for stitches to dissolve or absorb into the skin? I didn't know that.
I was quite frustrated and proceeded to ask several other questions - why does my skin prickle in the sun? When will I start to feel better? Where am I on the scale of ill to well? Where am I on the scale of other patients? Why do I feel so damn lousy all the time? FIX MEEEE!!! Dr G's answers were as follows: Chemo can have long-term neurological effects and prickly skin can be one of those things. On the scale, I am considered "normal" - kind of right in the middle, just like on a dryer. Same thing with regard to where I fit with other patients. Other patients with my type of cancer have the same setbacks and it can take a year, or longer before getting back on your feet. I feel lousy because I've been to hell and back and my body is fighting and wants to be better than normal. They all sound like simple answers don't they?
Finally, she said that if I can stay healthy for another four weeks, I just might lick this thing with regard to the implants. I still think my body is rejecting them but she says no, she doesn't even want to consider removing them. Isn't that funny? My sister convinces me that it just might be time to get them removed and give my body time to heal and the plastic surgeon says, "No way!" I'll give it that four weeks and then we'll see, but if there are any more infections, then I need to be very serious about this. These infections are life-threatening and one day, I hope to meet my grand-children (no pressure boys)...I just want to be able to be around for those special times.
As for the HBOT, I don't quite think I'm ready to give up on the idea for breast cancer patients to receive such therapy. I will fight if I think it will help others. Hugs to all
That being said, I returned to Tampa to recon and inquired with them about HBOT (Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy) and they shot me down. At first I was a little distressed because I've had several setbacks, but once I put it all in perspective, I realize that my particular situation, while not great, is not as bad as what that therapy was created for (according to Dr. G). You really need wounds that do not heal at all, etc to qualify for the treatment and although breast cancer patients are just now being looked at, they are not being considered at Tampa VA. I think they are missing the boat, and even Leslie thought so. Enough that she said she is going to provide further input on my behalf for it. Apparently, my "infection" on the right side is a stitch working its way out...Did you know it can take six months to a year for stitches to dissolve or absorb into the skin? I didn't know that.
I was quite frustrated and proceeded to ask several other questions - why does my skin prickle in the sun? When will I start to feel better? Where am I on the scale of ill to well? Where am I on the scale of other patients? Why do I feel so damn lousy all the time? FIX MEEEE!!! Dr G's answers were as follows: Chemo can have long-term neurological effects and prickly skin can be one of those things. On the scale, I am considered "normal" - kind of right in the middle, just like on a dryer. Same thing with regard to where I fit with other patients. Other patients with my type of cancer have the same setbacks and it can take a year, or longer before getting back on your feet. I feel lousy because I've been to hell and back and my body is fighting and wants to be better than normal. They all sound like simple answers don't they?
Finally, she said that if I can stay healthy for another four weeks, I just might lick this thing with regard to the implants. I still think my body is rejecting them but she says no, she doesn't even want to consider removing them. Isn't that funny? My sister convinces me that it just might be time to get them removed and give my body time to heal and the plastic surgeon says, "No way!" I'll give it that four weeks and then we'll see, but if there are any more infections, then I need to be very serious about this. These infections are life-threatening and one day, I hope to meet my grand-children (no pressure boys)...I just want to be able to be around for those special times.
As for the HBOT, I don't quite think I'm ready to give up on the idea for breast cancer patients to receive such therapy. I will fight if I think it will help others. Hugs to all
Monday, July 12, 2010
Off-Balance
I'm still a little off-balance since Joyce passed away last week and I've gone from being sad to now becoming angry at my own treatment.
I spent hours researching why my chest will not heal correctly. First, I know that because I am a triple negative, I will have setbacks, everything will be harder, and I have to keep that in mind. People question it over and over and I can't explain it other than what I have been told; not enough research has been done to explain why that is, it just is. And TNBC patients heal much slower and have weaker immune systems.
Needless to say, I've become a little pissy. I am so sick of being sick. Lord forgive me, I don't want to treat anyone poorly, I really don't, but my life is on the line here so I have no patience left for anyone not willing to step it up. I feel ill and I'm weak, physically, and THAT scares me. If I had any energy whatsoever I could try to gain some strength, but then I would only jeopardize the two steps forward I might be making with my breasts that keep breaking open. This is a vicious circle that is breaking me down mentally and I could sure use some mercy.
After 6 surgeries, I found out that after EVERY surgery, a patient is up to 70% more likely to die from DVT (deep vein thrombosis) than if they hadn't had surgery. And that percentage is for a whole three months. So, basically, for the entire last year, I've been in that critical window....nice of ANYONE to fill me on that note. I mean, really, shouldn't someone, anyone, have thought to tell ME about it?? Well, actually, in their defense, they may have and my chemo brain did a dump.
Now, on the upside, diabetics are often treated for non-healing wounds in hyperbaric oxygen chambers and they are up to 65% effective. When I go to Tampa on Wednesday, I will ask for consideration to use the chambers. Either that, or I seriously have to consider removing the implants or a second opinion, or surgeon. I definitely have another problem and that will mean another surgery because there has been yet one more breach and I feel like a guinea pig...dammit....Something's gotta give...I just have to find the right person to help me.
I know how lucky I am, I do, I really do, I'm just having a hard time accepting the fact that I may not have breasts after all...and for me, this very moment..that's tough. I've pretty much always been a girly girl and from the beginning of this, my light at the end of this tunnel was the reconstruction after chemo, etc. So now what?
Also,I'm not trying to be a downer here, but I promised I would try to keep this real and to do that means sharing the not so good days too....doing anything else would be disrespectful not only to myself, but to every breast cancer patient that follows down this road behind me. There are ups and there are downs, today is just one of those down days...and it too shall pass....the good Lord will pick me up again....
I spent hours researching why my chest will not heal correctly. First, I know that because I am a triple negative, I will have setbacks, everything will be harder, and I have to keep that in mind. People question it over and over and I can't explain it other than what I have been told; not enough research has been done to explain why that is, it just is. And TNBC patients heal much slower and have weaker immune systems.
Needless to say, I've become a little pissy. I am so sick of being sick. Lord forgive me, I don't want to treat anyone poorly, I really don't, but my life is on the line here so I have no patience left for anyone not willing to step it up. I feel ill and I'm weak, physically, and THAT scares me. If I had any energy whatsoever I could try to gain some strength, but then I would only jeopardize the two steps forward I might be making with my breasts that keep breaking open. This is a vicious circle that is breaking me down mentally and I could sure use some mercy.
After 6 surgeries, I found out that after EVERY surgery, a patient is up to 70% more likely to die from DVT (deep vein thrombosis) than if they hadn't had surgery. And that percentage is for a whole three months. So, basically, for the entire last year, I've been in that critical window....nice of ANYONE to fill me on that note. I mean, really, shouldn't someone, anyone, have thought to tell ME about it?? Well, actually, in their defense, they may have and my chemo brain did a dump.
Now, on the upside, diabetics are often treated for non-healing wounds in hyperbaric oxygen chambers and they are up to 65% effective. When I go to Tampa on Wednesday, I will ask for consideration to use the chambers. Either that, or I seriously have to consider removing the implants or a second opinion, or surgeon. I definitely have another problem and that will mean another surgery because there has been yet one more breach and I feel like a guinea pig...dammit....Something's gotta give...I just have to find the right person to help me.
I know how lucky I am, I do, I really do, I'm just having a hard time accepting the fact that I may not have breasts after all...and for me, this very moment..that's tough. I've pretty much always been a girly girl and from the beginning of this, my light at the end of this tunnel was the reconstruction after chemo, etc. So now what?
Also,I'm not trying to be a downer here, but I promised I would try to keep this real and to do that means sharing the not so good days too....doing anything else would be disrespectful not only to myself, but to every breast cancer patient that follows down this road behind me. There are ups and there are downs, today is just one of those down days...and it too shall pass....the good Lord will pick me up again....
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Goodbye, my friend
This was a difficult week for me. My friend, Joyce Atkins, who was diagnosed with breast cancer right around the same time as I was, died Monday, from complications of another surgery. Her daughter Theresa called me. It was so unexpected that as I was talking to her, I began to cry. I just couldn't believe it, I had just talked to her two weeks ago and although she looked exhausted (don't we all), she was chipper. So, the rest of my thoughts this day are dedicated in memory of her.
Fast food or Pot roast. Sometimes, we are called upon to do things that we don't want to do, and often, it takes much longer than we want it to take. It is painful and it tests our patience and our sanity (and that of our loved ones!). But the challenges presented upon us are what make us exactly who we are, exactly the way God intended us to be, and so my question for you today is, do you want fast food or pot roast? Personally, I want pot roast and if that means I have to endure this a little longer, because there is meaning in HIS eyes, then there MUST be meaning to it, somewhere, somehow. And that is exactly what I think my friend Joyce would want all of her friends and family to believe as well. Choose the pot roast. Take your time and live your life one day at a time and be happy with what you have....today...for we don't know what tomorrow holds. Love your family and friends for who they are, not what you want them to be. Love yourself, exactly the way you are, not the way you wish you could be. Tomorrow will come, by fast food or pot roast and I hope that you savor each and every moment. I will miss my friend, Joyce, but I believe she was called home when it was her time.
Other than that, I think I might have another infection. I'm trying not to be down about it. Again, I'm thinking pot roast. After all, I have to remain positive, as that is half the battle, right. My other bosom buddy, Adrienne, finished chemo and is getting ready to start her radiation. Please keep her in your prayers. She is Stage 4 with metastasis to the back. Her daughter Emma, 8, is growing wise beyond her years. I hope that as the summer progresses you can find an extra dollar to donate towards my Making Strides for the American Cancer Society campaign this year. One day, women around the world will not have to worry about breast cancer, I hope, I hope, I hope......Until then, I will continue to battle against the beast and pray for a cure. I will post my link on the next writing.
Hugs to all.....
Fast food or Pot roast. Sometimes, we are called upon to do things that we don't want to do, and often, it takes much longer than we want it to take. It is painful and it tests our patience and our sanity (and that of our loved ones!). But the challenges presented upon us are what make us exactly who we are, exactly the way God intended us to be, and so my question for you today is, do you want fast food or pot roast? Personally, I want pot roast and if that means I have to endure this a little longer, because there is meaning in HIS eyes, then there MUST be meaning to it, somewhere, somehow. And that is exactly what I think my friend Joyce would want all of her friends and family to believe as well. Choose the pot roast. Take your time and live your life one day at a time and be happy with what you have....today...for we don't know what tomorrow holds. Love your family and friends for who they are, not what you want them to be. Love yourself, exactly the way you are, not the way you wish you could be. Tomorrow will come, by fast food or pot roast and I hope that you savor each and every moment. I will miss my friend, Joyce, but I believe she was called home when it was her time.
Other than that, I think I might have another infection. I'm trying not to be down about it. Again, I'm thinking pot roast. After all, I have to remain positive, as that is half the battle, right. My other bosom buddy, Adrienne, finished chemo and is getting ready to start her radiation. Please keep her in your prayers. She is Stage 4 with metastasis to the back. Her daughter Emma, 8, is growing wise beyond her years. I hope that as the summer progresses you can find an extra dollar to donate towards my Making Strides for the American Cancer Society campaign this year. One day, women around the world will not have to worry about breast cancer, I hope, I hope, I hope......Until then, I will continue to battle against the beast and pray for a cure. I will post my link on the next writing.
Hugs to all.....
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Independence Day 2010
Happy Independence Day 2010. 234 years ago, this great country gained her freedom, and we still have it. Serving in the military has been a part of my family for several generations and in 2004, I retired from the US Army. Our Flag represents what and who we are as a nation and I hope that those who have the responsibility to lead us always remember how hard our forefathers worked, and the lives lost before us.
It has been a tough couple of weeks, but I shall not whine, for I know that I am lucky. I've said that all along from the moment I found out I had cancer. They found it early, I had the surgery - six of them now, and I've been able to undergo reconstruction. The cancer remains in remission with no signs of it anywhere else in my body...thank you, Jesus. I'm just so darn tired from this bacterial infection I'm fighting that it has knocked me down hard. It's quite scary actually. This too shall pass as my son would say.
Pseudomonas, a not so fun bacteria that can hurt you from the outside, or inside. It particularly likes people with weakened immune systems...people like me. Doctor's appointments a plenty to check the blood and skin, etc. That's ok - be proactive - that's what saved my life in the first place...
Anyway, as each day goes by, I'm feeling a wee bit better. No redness, no fever, and that increases my odds. I'm thinking about doing a lot of things differently, sooner than later. What I mean is I want to visit places and see people I haven't seen and do those things I've been putting off. One thing is for certain; this last year has taught me that cancer waits for no one. With that momentum, I went to see my brother, Tom, who is incarcerated in Polk County. I love Tommy, he is truly the funniest guy I've ever met, and he has one flaw - no, he has two: One - he can't keep his hands on his own property, and two - he has only one kidney. Other than that, he's a good guy. We spent a few hours catching up on lost time. It was nice.
While you watch the fireworks this evening, try to watch them as if it were the first, and last time you were to ever experience them.....Why? It's just an amazing feeling and you become fully present, right there and enjoy that very moment. Love to all for a special and spectacular July 4th.....
It has been a tough couple of weeks, but I shall not whine, for I know that I am lucky. I've said that all along from the moment I found out I had cancer. They found it early, I had the surgery - six of them now, and I've been able to undergo reconstruction. The cancer remains in remission with no signs of it anywhere else in my body...thank you, Jesus. I'm just so darn tired from this bacterial infection I'm fighting that it has knocked me down hard. It's quite scary actually. This too shall pass as my son would say.
Pseudomonas, a not so fun bacteria that can hurt you from the outside, or inside. It particularly likes people with weakened immune systems...people like me. Doctor's appointments a plenty to check the blood and skin, etc. That's ok - be proactive - that's what saved my life in the first place...
Anyway, as each day goes by, I'm feeling a wee bit better. No redness, no fever, and that increases my odds. I'm thinking about doing a lot of things differently, sooner than later. What I mean is I want to visit places and see people I haven't seen and do those things I've been putting off. One thing is for certain; this last year has taught me that cancer waits for no one. With that momentum, I went to see my brother, Tom, who is incarcerated in Polk County. I love Tommy, he is truly the funniest guy I've ever met, and he has one flaw - no, he has two: One - he can't keep his hands on his own property, and two - he has only one kidney. Other than that, he's a good guy. We spent a few hours catching up on lost time. It was nice.
While you watch the fireworks this evening, try to watch them as if it were the first, and last time you were to ever experience them.....Why? It's just an amazing feeling and you become fully present, right there and enjoy that very moment. Love to all for a special and spectacular July 4th.....
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Three Weeks Later and one more surgery
Well, here it is, the first day of Summer 2010. And it has been a beautiful day. The sun has been shining and its been about 90 degrees. A gorgeous day all in all. The last few weeks have been event filled and I continue to learn new things as I take this journey down the breast cancer path. These last couple weeks have been hard, but I won't complain. There are many others out there who have a much harder road than I. I am grateful for each day that I have.
Two weeks ago, the steri-strips from the previous surgery were removed and there were what looked like three little black dots on my left breast. I was concerned, but Dr. Gould was not. There was also a laser burn on my right breast - an "oops" if you will. All was fine until last Monday when it appeared that sure enough, there had been compromising of the incision. :( Unfortunately for me, it hit me fast and hard. Tuesday morning I could hardly think as my head and body ached so badly I couldn't think straight. I was afraid to make the drive to Tampa, so I opted for a local doctor with shots and antibiotics. That got me through the evening so I could drive on Wednesday. I "thought" they would schedule me for surgery the following week, but I should know better to be prepared for the unexpected. I was immediately admitted, placed on antibiotics and geared up for surgery. Now, here I am six surgeries into this and although part of me is quite frightened, the other part of me trusts in God and in the medical community. This infection was a fluke, but it should serve to other cancer patients as a warning that it can happen in a moments notice and we need to take exceptional care at all times.
My hair is growing back amazingly well and I'm quite pleased with it. There's still part of me that wishes it were longer, but hey, its part of this journey, so be it.
These silicone implants that I now own are amazing little gals. The one thing that gets me is this: It is cold in my office, and when it is cold, the girls get cold, and when they get cold, my whole body gets cold because there's nothing there to warm'em up. So, I'm on another journey to find a way to help women with this. My mind wanders and I think, "I'm in a warm climate- holy macaroni - can you imagine having these in Alaska? Geez." Yeah, poor women there. You see, women who have single or bilateral mastectomy's are basically coned or scraped out and there's nothing left but skin (if they are lucky). When the reconstruction is done, the skin is very thin thus allowing temperature changes to affect the chest and body more. Sounds insane I know.....leave it to me to bring this up. I patent the idea - don't steal it! ;)
Anyway, I am still in school. Four classes left. Still chugging along like the little train that could....I refuse to give up on this dream of mine.
Moving right along, I have some strange, but good occupational therapy news. The OT nurse I saw at James Haley went into detail with me about the lymph system - the sewage system of our body if you will. When lymph nodes are removed, the system slows down and you must take extra precautions. Just what does that mean? It means reduce eating preserved foods, foods in boxes and cans, etc, these things have a tendency to bog down your lymph system because it has to break it all down (they are unnatural).
Next, to help "wake up" the lymph system in the morning, lightly brush each arm from the hand up to the shoulder (very lightly now) on all sides. Do it to both arms and even your legs because you have lymph nodes in your hips, so start at your feet and lightly brush up toward your thighs. I know this sounds silly, but try it. When you lightly brush up, do you feel that sensation? That is your system saying, "Hello, I am here" or something like that. Anyway, you are waking it up so it starts working. As a cancer patient you want to do that every day.
If you have had a single/bilateral mastectomy, do the same thing with your breast, lightly working away from the center/nipple area. Afterward, you should brush it toward your diaphram area as that is apparently where everything goes from the lymph system to disperse.
Amazing information, huh? I know it sounds a little hoky, but I swear, this therapist comes highly rated, and as such, until I either think she's nuts, or prove her wrong, or a miracle occurs, I will continue to do these exercises. Why? Because in my opinion, they sure as heck can't hurt......
Finally, a big shout out to Kimmy and Donna who graduated from Webster this last semester attaining their Master's Degree's!! Way to go, ladies - I'm right behind ya.
Love to all.
Two weeks ago, the steri-strips from the previous surgery were removed and there were what looked like three little black dots on my left breast. I was concerned, but Dr. Gould was not. There was also a laser burn on my right breast - an "oops" if you will. All was fine until last Monday when it appeared that sure enough, there had been compromising of the incision. :( Unfortunately for me, it hit me fast and hard. Tuesday morning I could hardly think as my head and body ached so badly I couldn't think straight. I was afraid to make the drive to Tampa, so I opted for a local doctor with shots and antibiotics. That got me through the evening so I could drive on Wednesday. I "thought" they would schedule me for surgery the following week, but I should know better to be prepared for the unexpected. I was immediately admitted, placed on antibiotics and geared up for surgery. Now, here I am six surgeries into this and although part of me is quite frightened, the other part of me trusts in God and in the medical community. This infection was a fluke, but it should serve to other cancer patients as a warning that it can happen in a moments notice and we need to take exceptional care at all times.
My hair is growing back amazingly well and I'm quite pleased with it. There's still part of me that wishes it were longer, but hey, its part of this journey, so be it.
These silicone implants that I now own are amazing little gals. The one thing that gets me is this: It is cold in my office, and when it is cold, the girls get cold, and when they get cold, my whole body gets cold because there's nothing there to warm'em up. So, I'm on another journey to find a way to help women with this. My mind wanders and I think, "I'm in a warm climate- holy macaroni - can you imagine having these in Alaska? Geez." Yeah, poor women there. You see, women who have single or bilateral mastectomy's are basically coned or scraped out and there's nothing left but skin (if they are lucky). When the reconstruction is done, the skin is very thin thus allowing temperature changes to affect the chest and body more. Sounds insane I know.....leave it to me to bring this up. I patent the idea - don't steal it! ;)
Anyway, I am still in school. Four classes left. Still chugging along like the little train that could....I refuse to give up on this dream of mine.
Moving right along, I have some strange, but good occupational therapy news. The OT nurse I saw at James Haley went into detail with me about the lymph system - the sewage system of our body if you will. When lymph nodes are removed, the system slows down and you must take extra precautions. Just what does that mean? It means reduce eating preserved foods, foods in boxes and cans, etc, these things have a tendency to bog down your lymph system because it has to break it all down (they are unnatural).
Next, to help "wake up" the lymph system in the morning, lightly brush each arm from the hand up to the shoulder (very lightly now) on all sides. Do it to both arms and even your legs because you have lymph nodes in your hips, so start at your feet and lightly brush up toward your thighs. I know this sounds silly, but try it. When you lightly brush up, do you feel that sensation? That is your system saying, "Hello, I am here" or something like that. Anyway, you are waking it up so it starts working. As a cancer patient you want to do that every day.
If you have had a single/bilateral mastectomy, do the same thing with your breast, lightly working away from the center/nipple area. Afterward, you should brush it toward your diaphram area as that is apparently where everything goes from the lymph system to disperse.
Amazing information, huh? I know it sounds a little hoky, but I swear, this therapist comes highly rated, and as such, until I either think she's nuts, or prove her wrong, or a miracle occurs, I will continue to do these exercises. Why? Because in my opinion, they sure as heck can't hurt......
Finally, a big shout out to Kimmy and Donna who graduated from Webster this last semester attaining their Master's Degree's!! Way to go, ladies - I'm right behind ya.
Love to all.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Post Surgery
Well, yet again I have another new chest. Last week, they went in, removed the old, inserted new, moved them around to reposition and lasered out a bunch of scar tissue that was encapsulating the implants.
Geez, it was a tough surgery. It didn't take but a couple hours, but I'm quite bruised and swollen this go around. My body is telling me it tired right now and I'm trying to listen, but I did have to return to work this morning. It was very, very difficult. I'm pretty sure that I almost cried many times, but I pushed through it and just asked God for mercy on my girls. Was going to stay in and rest at lunch, but changed my mind and went to Makoto's w/Cdr G. Thanks! I owe ya one.
Finally home and it's early evening, thank goodness. I think I'll enjoy the quiet time....I have a break from school so I'm going to take advantage of it.
Congrats to all my Webster friends who are graduating with their Master's....you lead the way....a big HOOAH! to you. I'm rocking slow and steady and not giving up -one class at a time, carrying a 4.0 GPA, and just recently inducted into Delta Mu Delta. Not too bad for a breast cancer patient.
Hugs to all...
Geez, it was a tough surgery. It didn't take but a couple hours, but I'm quite bruised and swollen this go around. My body is telling me it tired right now and I'm trying to listen, but I did have to return to work this morning. It was very, very difficult. I'm pretty sure that I almost cried many times, but I pushed through it and just asked God for mercy on my girls. Was going to stay in and rest at lunch, but changed my mind and went to Makoto's w/Cdr G. Thanks! I owe ya one.
Finally home and it's early evening, thank goodness. I think I'll enjoy the quiet time....I have a break from school so I'm going to take advantage of it.
Congrats to all my Webster friends who are graduating with their Master's....you lead the way....a big HOOAH! to you. I'm rocking slow and steady and not giving up -one class at a time, carrying a 4.0 GPA, and just recently inducted into Delta Mu Delta. Not too bad for a breast cancer patient.
Hugs to all...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all mother's, wherever you may be. You deserve this single, special day each year, and I'm so glad to be here to celebrate it with you. I've been quiet here because I've been trying to regroup - I crashed my computer and lost all my college homework and "stuff" - years of it. I was overwhelmed. And I've had lot's of things to make up in a college class; a presentation, a 16-page paper, and a final. No easy task by any means. But I'm back. :) Today, I'd like to keep this simple and send a special wish to my own mother, who died from cancer when I was 19. I cannot take credit for the poem, but it is just as heartfelt. She was taken from me way too early, but I now understand this disease waits for no one. So Mom, this one's for you:
"If roses grow in heaven, please pick a bunch for me, place them in my mothers arms and tell her they're from me. Tell her that I love and miss her, and when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for a while. Because remembering her is easy, I do it everyday, but there's an ache within my heart that never goes away. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MAMA. I LOVE AND MISS YOU!"
"If roses grow in heaven, please pick a bunch for me, place them in my mothers arms and tell her they're from me. Tell her that I love and miss her, and when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for a while. Because remembering her is easy, I do it everyday, but there's an ache within my heart that never goes away. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MAMA. I LOVE AND MISS YOU!"
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Lucky Me!
We did the "Relay 4 Life" this past weekend and what a joyous occasion it was. First, I need to give serious high-fives to all the students who were out there supporting this event. Wow, my cup runneth over... I couldn't believe the support - it was fantastic. And to the teachers and others who put the event on - what a great job! My bosom buddy, Adrienne, was there for a majority of the day and into the evening. She stayed for the Luminaria candle lighting ceremony. I don't know how she made it, but she has the strength of a hundred angels.....
I had preop on Thursday, so I stopped by the Casino and lucky me, I won $200!!! Yayyyy!! I took it and ran right out the door, which is something I don't often do. I put it away for the Relay and I purchased tickets to all the little things that people at the event were raffling off. I figured if I won, it was meant to be, and if not, it was still meant to be because it was all for research for cancer..amen, amen and AMEN! After hitting a concrete wall (figuratively) late in the evening, I left to rest for a couple hours and returned at 0600, just in time to hear an announcer say, "Ms. Arla.... YOU are the proud new owner of the hottest new Ipad!!" Yep, I won an Ipad for a single $10 ticket purchase. How about that.... I took a picture and texted it to my boys to show it off.....HA! That went over well... LOL! What fun.
I still feel so very blessed for each moment I have....even though I learned my son, Kyle, will be leaving to go back to St. Louis. I am deeply saddened, but I believe he should learn his dad's company, and be close to where his grandma is. I should reconsider things at some point as well. I love my boys so much....but hate that weather.
Lucky me - my home computer bit the dust, self inflicted. Took everything with it. Homework, thesis, all my old school work, all my pictures, etc...Wow, I am still having a hard time reconciling this, but cannot dwell on it....A classmate advised that I sent her my thesis as a guide and she still had it....THANK YOU JESUS!!!! It will be much easier to recreate....Lucky me, yet again....
Have a blessed week all....much love.
I had preop on Thursday, so I stopped by the Casino and lucky me, I won $200!!! Yayyyy!! I took it and ran right out the door, which is something I don't often do. I put it away for the Relay and I purchased tickets to all the little things that people at the event were raffling off. I figured if I won, it was meant to be, and if not, it was still meant to be because it was all for research for cancer..amen, amen and AMEN! After hitting a concrete wall (figuratively) late in the evening, I left to rest for a couple hours and returned at 0600, just in time to hear an announcer say, "Ms. Arla.... YOU are the proud new owner of the hottest new Ipad!!" Yep, I won an Ipad for a single $10 ticket purchase. How about that.... I took a picture and texted it to my boys to show it off.....HA! That went over well... LOL! What fun.
I still feel so very blessed for each moment I have....even though I learned my son, Kyle, will be leaving to go back to St. Louis. I am deeply saddened, but I believe he should learn his dad's company, and be close to where his grandma is. I should reconsider things at some point as well. I love my boys so much....but hate that weather.
Lucky me - my home computer bit the dust, self inflicted. Took everything with it. Homework, thesis, all my old school work, all my pictures, etc...Wow, I am still having a hard time reconciling this, but cannot dwell on it....A classmate advised that I sent her my thesis as a guide and she still had it....THANK YOU JESUS!!!! It will be much easier to recreate....Lucky me, yet again....
Have a blessed week all....much love.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Catching Up
So, I caught up on my taped shows today and watched an Ellen show from this past week. It was about "Larry" the whale - a whale who escorted a woman raising money to support breast cancer by paddling (basically) on a surf board?? That is not what you call it but I'm having a fog moment here....
Anyway, I was walking on my treadmill and as I live and breathe I SWEAR I heard God say, "See, there are miracles all around you".....and it was so real that it made me cry. It stopped me in my tracks. A single encounter with a playful whale has continued to bring so much needed emphasis on this cancer. And bless that woman for giving so much of herself to do that for her friend. Google it if you have a minute - it was an amazing moment with nature.
When we quiet ourselves from the outside world long enough, we can see and hear what really matters most.... Have a blessed week.
OH - and if you are local, please visit the PAL Center behind the Jr/Sr High School in Satellite Beach, on April 24th to see Operation NOW (Not on Our Watch) in action. The mission is to educate our youth in the hopes to prevent losing them to distracted driving. Rene' Rubiella, President, and Founder is a guest on my show this month. (NASA channel 49, Wednesday and Sunday evenings) I hope we can help your children be a little safer out there on the roads. God bless!
Anyway, I was walking on my treadmill and as I live and breathe I SWEAR I heard God say, "See, there are miracles all around you".....and it was so real that it made me cry. It stopped me in my tracks. A single encounter with a playful whale has continued to bring so much needed emphasis on this cancer. And bless that woman for giving so much of herself to do that for her friend. Google it if you have a minute - it was an amazing moment with nature.
When we quiet ourselves from the outside world long enough, we can see and hear what really matters most.... Have a blessed week.
OH - and if you are local, please visit the PAL Center behind the Jr/Sr High School in Satellite Beach, on April 24th to see Operation NOW (Not on Our Watch) in action. The mission is to educate our youth in the hopes to prevent losing them to distracted driving. Rene' Rubiella, President, and Founder is a guest on my show this month. (NASA channel 49, Wednesday and Sunday evenings) I hope we can help your children be a little safer out there on the roads. God bless!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Police Hall of Fame Patriotism Award
April 8, 2010 was a big day - yet I never saw it coming. I was acknowledged with a President's National Police Hall of Fame Patriotism Award, written and submitted by the members of "Families of the Shield".
It was presented at our Annual Department Meeting last Thursday and I almost fell over. To give you an idea of just how stunned I was, nearly anything can engage my tears nowadays, even a turtle crossing the road...but I couldn't even cry or talk. I am rarely - and I mean rarely, ever speechless, but I was. All I could manage was a meek and humbled thank you and a slight nod to our superior officers to hang in there that things are looking brighter every day. And with that, a standing ovation. Really? I mean, seriously - for me? I am the one in awe of them.....unbelievable.
I still get chills reflecting on the special moment. Melbourne Police Officer John Pasko, you are a very kind person. Thank you for even thinking of me, but more so, taking the time to write such an amazing nomination letter and the photographs - WOW! I am still blown away. One of those photo's (at right) truly reflect my journey down this path with breast cancer. So many times I have felt so alone, but yet, I know that the good Lord has been right here beside me along and just knowing that, I feel stronger, and loved, and fear no evil. That one picture says so much, not just about me, but also about him, my friend and co-worker (John) who put so much effort into this award.
LT Loos said the look on my face when he called my name was priceless. I'll bet it was. :) It was definitely one of those WOW moments in my life.... thank you so much John and Families of the Shield.....
Oh, by the way, my second CA15-3 cancer mark test came back.... at a "7" - that is great news!!!! I am one more day closer to being out of the woods. July 17th will be one year cancer free.....hmmm, I'm even thinking about changing my birthday this year to that day and throwing a big party.....love to all - have a wonderful week!
It was presented at our Annual Department Meeting last Thursday and I almost fell over. To give you an idea of just how stunned I was, nearly anything can engage my tears nowadays, even a turtle crossing the road...but I couldn't even cry or talk. I am rarely - and I mean rarely, ever speechless, but I was. All I could manage was a meek and humbled thank you and a slight nod to our superior officers to hang in there that things are looking brighter every day. And with that, a standing ovation. Really? I mean, seriously - for me? I am the one in awe of them.....unbelievable.
I still get chills reflecting on the special moment. Melbourne Police Officer John Pasko, you are a very kind person. Thank you for even thinking of me, but more so, taking the time to write such an amazing nomination letter and the photographs - WOW! I am still blown away. One of those photo's (at right) truly reflect my journey down this path with breast cancer. So many times I have felt so alone, but yet, I know that the good Lord has been right here beside me along and just knowing that, I feel stronger, and loved, and fear no evil. That one picture says so much, not just about me, but also about him, my friend and co-worker (John) who put so much effort into this award.
LT Loos said the look on my face when he called my name was priceless. I'll bet it was. :) It was definitely one of those WOW moments in my life.... thank you so much John and Families of the Shield.....
Oh, by the way, my second CA15-3 cancer mark test came back.... at a "7" - that is great news!!!! I am one more day closer to being out of the woods. July 17th will be one year cancer free.....hmmm, I'm even thinking about changing my birthday this year to that day and throwing a big party.....love to all - have a wonderful week!
Friday, April 2, 2010
A New Month
Hello everyone! Yesterday, I had the privilege of making a special Certificate of Appreciation for the Radiologist who caught my nearly undetectable cancer so early. I had to have another CA15-3 blood test at the VA, so it was a good opportunity for me to take it to him. I also had one for my favorite doc, Linus A., who is kind, compassionate, and caring. Linus wasn't in, so I asked to have it left on his desk where it would be the first thing he saw when he came in this morning. As for Dr. Miller, the Radiologist, he was very touched and even choked up by it. No one had ever come back and done/said anything like that. I hugged him and thanked him for saving my life....he said he would always treasure it. I hope that he shares it so that others will see how much he is appreciated. It was one of those moments, yet again. Part of my plan to not forget to thank and appreciate everyone who has stood by me this last year. One line on the certificate says, "Imagine being truly grateful, then magnify it times a thousand and it still does not come close to the eternal gratitude I will always have toward you."
Next week, I go to Tampa for more follow ups and I have three more certificates. One for Leslie, one for Dr. Perez, and one for my chemo nurses. Every one of these people played an important role in my well-being, both mental and physical during the most challenging time of my life, and this is the only way I know how to thank them.
Originally, I thought they might think it a bit silly, but after seeing Dr. Miller yesterday, I now believe otherwise.
Also, had a special moment with a new little puppy that was welcomed into a co-workers home....I'm adding the picture here. He sure is a little beauty and he just wanted to snuggle with me...awwwww
Wishing you all a very special weekend. This is our holy Easter weekend, where the resurrection of Jesus Christ is celebrated. According to scriptures, he was raised from the dead three days after his death on the cross. With his death, he paid the penalty for sin and for all those believing in him, shall have eternal life in Christ Jesus. Amen to that....Whether or not you believe, may you be filled with a hope and faith to make your every day a memorable one. Hugs to all~
Next week, I go to Tampa for more follow ups and I have three more certificates. One for Leslie, one for Dr. Perez, and one for my chemo nurses. Every one of these people played an important role in my well-being, both mental and physical during the most challenging time of my life, and this is the only way I know how to thank them.
Originally, I thought they might think it a bit silly, but after seeing Dr. Miller yesterday, I now believe otherwise.
Also, had a special moment with a new little puppy that was welcomed into a co-workers home....I'm adding the picture here. He sure is a little beauty and he just wanted to snuggle with me...awwwww
Wishing you all a very special weekend. This is our holy Easter weekend, where the resurrection of Jesus Christ is celebrated. According to scriptures, he was raised from the dead three days after his death on the cross. With his death, he paid the penalty for sin and for all those believing in him, shall have eternal life in Christ Jesus. Amen to that....Whether or not you believe, may you be filled with a hope and faith to make your every day a memorable one. Hugs to all~
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
On June 8, 2009, just days after learning I had breast cancer, I began this blog and I wrote the following:
Everything is moving along. I am frightened, but I have faith. I am educated, but not in this. So, what's a girl to do? Put my faith in God and know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be....today. And that's enough for me. As for my thought for today, I actually just now "stole" it from my dear childhood friend that I've known since first grade, Rose. She put it on her facebook page and I thought it was pretty profound: "There are two ways to live your life...One is as though nothing is a miracle, The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Now, on this St. Patty’s Day, March 17, 2010, I reflect on that passage and say, “Everything is moving along beautifully. I am still a little frightened at times, but not afraid because I am now educated in this disease. I place my faith in God, always, and still believe that I am exactly where he wants me to be….today, and everyday….and that is all I ask for. Thank you, Jesus". With regard to my friend Rose’s quote: "There are two ways to live your life – and I CHOOSE to live as though everything is a miracle….” Yes, indeed. Love to all....OH - and to my friend and school mate Donna - it was so great to see you again.....
Everything is moving along. I am frightened, but I have faith. I am educated, but not in this. So, what's a girl to do? Put my faith in God and know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be....today. And that's enough for me. As for my thought for today, I actually just now "stole" it from my dear childhood friend that I've known since first grade, Rose. She put it on her facebook page and I thought it was pretty profound: "There are two ways to live your life...One is as though nothing is a miracle, The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Now, on this St. Patty’s Day, March 17, 2010, I reflect on that passage and say, “Everything is moving along beautifully. I am still a little frightened at times, but not afraid because I am now educated in this disease. I place my faith in God, always, and still believe that I am exactly where he wants me to be….today, and everyday….and that is all I ask for. Thank you, Jesus". With regard to my friend Rose’s quote: "There are two ways to live your life – and I CHOOSE to live as though everything is a miracle….” Yes, indeed. Love to all....OH - and to my friend and school mate Donna - it was so great to see you again.....
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
10 Months Later
This will be brief, and I hope, filled with hope for others. It has been 10 months since that moment when sitting at this very same desk (see picture at right) that I received the phone call and was told I had this dreadful disease.
Since then, my life has been a roller coaster filled with tears, fears, hope, prayer, hugs, help, and every other source of assistance imaginable. My friends and family were closer to me than I could have ever imagined and for which I am eternally grateful.
My tush is bigger, but so is my heart. I lost my breasts, my modesty, my dignity (at times) and my hair, but I've gained so much more out of life and every single day for me now is an amazing and beautiful gift. And honestly, I hope I feel this way for each and every day of the rest of my life.
Every morning, I wake up, and the first thing I say is, "Come on girls (to my dogs) and thank you, Jesus, for another day....It's going to be beautiful yet again." How could it not be.
Nowadays, I'm getting the "Hey, you sorta look like that Jamie Lee Curtis gal on the Activia commercial.....yeah, sure I do.... I don't care who I look like as long as I wake up and look like someone each day...and I get to do something good - somewhere.
Have an awesome day all...hugs ~
Since then, my life has been a roller coaster filled with tears, fears, hope, prayer, hugs, help, and every other source of assistance imaginable. My friends and family were closer to me than I could have ever imagined and for which I am eternally grateful.
My tush is bigger, but so is my heart. I lost my breasts, my modesty, my dignity (at times) and my hair, but I've gained so much more out of life and every single day for me now is an amazing and beautiful gift. And honestly, I hope I feel this way for each and every day of the rest of my life.
Every morning, I wake up, and the first thing I say is, "Come on girls (to my dogs) and thank you, Jesus, for another day....It's going to be beautiful yet again." How could it not be.
Nowadays, I'm getting the "Hey, you sorta look like that Jamie Lee Curtis gal on the Activia commercial.....yeah, sure I do.... I don't care who I look like as long as I wake up and look like someone each day...and I get to do something good - somewhere.
Have an awesome day all...hugs ~
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
News and Updates
Hi all~ It has been a crazy last week or so. Last Wednesday, my sister Sherry had her knee replaced. Something long overdue. Before going into surgery, I was in preop with her and Ferell (quick story) and after one sedative, Sherry started telling the nurse, Stephanie, about my cancer and surgeries, etc. She then told Stephanie about my wig, to which an older woman in the corner (waiting w/her husband who was having surgery also) stood up and said, "I want to see", and puzzled, I looked over, and as I did, she yanked her wig off, and I laughed and yanked my wig off, too!!! I then ran over and gave her a big hug and we shared a few precious minutes talking about our cancer and our hair. She had just finished her last chemo the previous week and so she was still bald. My hair is coming back black and white.....it's pretty wild...Anyway, I just had to share that moment with all of you because it was like something that only happens in movies. It was a great feeling...and shortly thereafter, my sister was out like a light.....
The very next evening, my son, Kyle, crashed his motorcycle. I didn't find out until Friday morning. He was released from the hospital yesterday with a concussion, fractured fibula, torn ACL, and road rash. He is very sore, and I hope, and pray, he never gets on a motorcycle again. The trauma nurse said that he was riding on the wings of angels that night. I believe her. He was very, very lucky and I think he knows that. He even told me he will fix it up only to sell it and get his money out of it.
Like I said, it's been a busy week. But not so busy to think of my warrior sisters and all my friends who have been so supportive of me. There is not one day that goes by that I don't hold you close in thought. I notice that as I begin to feel better, my calendar seems to get fuller - what's up with that??? Actually, as of late it has been my sister, my son, and school. That's all. Once things settle down, and I'm really back on my feet, I want to volunteer time to somewhere that supports breast cancer patients. I feel that I have a lot to offer; hope, love, peace, laughter in hard times, and eternal friendship.
Now, tell me - how have YOU been? Hugs to all~
The very next evening, my son, Kyle, crashed his motorcycle. I didn't find out until Friday morning. He was released from the hospital yesterday with a concussion, fractured fibula, torn ACL, and road rash. He is very sore, and I hope, and pray, he never gets on a motorcycle again. The trauma nurse said that he was riding on the wings of angels that night. I believe her. He was very, very lucky and I think he knows that. He even told me he will fix it up only to sell it and get his money out of it.
Like I said, it's been a busy week. But not so busy to think of my warrior sisters and all my friends who have been so supportive of me. There is not one day that goes by that I don't hold you close in thought. I notice that as I begin to feel better, my calendar seems to get fuller - what's up with that??? Actually, as of late it has been my sister, my son, and school. That's all. Once things settle down, and I'm really back on my feet, I want to volunteer time to somewhere that supports breast cancer patients. I feel that I have a lot to offer; hope, love, peace, laughter in hard times, and eternal friendship.
Now, tell me - how have YOU been? Hugs to all~
Monday, February 15, 2010
The Day After Valentine's
Hello all! I hope you had a very special Valentine's Day! I've yet to find me another special Valentine, but that's OK, I don't fret over it. It took me many years to realize I needed to focus on me and so I have.
Aside from beating cancer, chemo, the flu and getting hit by a truck, I continue to go to school seeking that Master's Degree....I'm keeping my fingers crossed that by December of this year, I will finish. So what will I get to call myself for those thousands of dollars invested??? Hmmm, let's see.... Master? No. Sophisticated? Not really, I'm pretty laid back. Scholarly? No. OK fine. I'll just settle for the love of learning and the true desire to teach and inspire others.... especially my own boys.
I'm feeling fairly well nowadays and I'm very excited about that. I still have days when I have absolutely no energy and when I do, I listen to my body (something I never did before). The further I get away from the last chemo day in November, the better I feel. The steriods are still sticking to my hips and lips, but I know that one day the weight will go too. By the time I get done with work (full-time) and school, I'm completely exhausted so I apologize for not being on here each day. Know that I think of YOU, and my warrior sisters, every single day. Your love and support this last year have been a tremendous blessing. I will try to catch up with some of you this weekend.
Keeping the faith and wishing YOU an amazing day filled with grace, laughter, and love. Hugs~
Aside from beating cancer, chemo, the flu and getting hit by a truck, I continue to go to school seeking that Master's Degree....I'm keeping my fingers crossed that by December of this year, I will finish. So what will I get to call myself for those thousands of dollars invested??? Hmmm, let's see.... Master? No. Sophisticated? Not really, I'm pretty laid back. Scholarly? No. OK fine. I'll just settle for the love of learning and the true desire to teach and inspire others.... especially my own boys.
I'm feeling fairly well nowadays and I'm very excited about that. I still have days when I have absolutely no energy and when I do, I listen to my body (something I never did before). The further I get away from the last chemo day in November, the better I feel. The steriods are still sticking to my hips and lips, but I know that one day the weight will go too. By the time I get done with work (full-time) and school, I'm completely exhausted so I apologize for not being on here each day. Know that I think of YOU, and my warrior sisters, every single day. Your love and support this last year have been a tremendous blessing. I will try to catch up with some of you this weekend.
Keeping the faith and wishing YOU an amazing day filled with grace, laughter, and love. Hugs~
Monday, February 8, 2010
Polar Plunge Update
I'm so sorry everyone - chemo fog at work. I forgot to update you on our Polar Plunge in January! I raised $260 in three days, but in less than one week, our group of 10 raised over $2,000. I must give a special shout out to SGT Rocque and his daywatch squad here at the Police Department for donating almost $500 to support us.
In total, the Plunge raised more than $62,000 and it felt GREAT to be a part of something so special. These special athletes rely on people like you and me to help enrich their lives. To the right, I have added a couple photos taken at Aquatica on 9 Jan 10. I did not take the "dip" for obvious health reasons, but I did participate in every other way.
Again, sorry for the delay and thank you so kindly for your donations to this wonderful group!! Miracles happen everyday and YOU are part of them!
In total, the Plunge raised more than $62,000 and it felt GREAT to be a part of something so special. These special athletes rely on people like you and me to help enrich their lives. To the right, I have added a couple photos taken at Aquatica on 9 Jan 10. I did not take the "dip" for obvious health reasons, but I did participate in every other way.
Again, sorry for the delay and thank you so kindly for your donations to this wonderful group!! Miracles happen everyday and YOU are part of them!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Nine Months Later
Well, it is nine months after my diagnosis. I have been through four surgeries, four rounds of heavy-duty chemo, a port, steriods, tons of drugs, hair loss and an extra 20 lbs - but hey, who's counting??? ME! That's who. I'm counting every single one of my blessings - and every new little hair that presents itself. It has been a long road to get here and I still have "Phase 2" left - that is one more surgery to re-set my implants and create new nipples.
I recently had a CA15-3 cancer marker test done and my number came back at an "8" which indicates my cancer has responded well to the chemo. From what I understand, any number under 32 is ok, but when it rises over that, it becomes a warning that something may be going on. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me a new lease on life. My promise to everyone, and myself, is to not let one day go by wasted and to let people know I appreciate them....because I truly do.
As I was driving along in my little red car with my little chemo fog the other day, a thought occurred to me. What do I wish someone would have told me when all this started....after awhile and time to try to recollect some of the good thoughts and hugs and wishes, I realized that the one thing I wish someone would have said is, "Girl, the next 6 months of your life is going to suck! You're going to feel sick, and you are going to beg God for mercy, BUT you WILL hang in there, and get to the other side of this". Which I'm pretty sure my favorite nurse Leslie did say something along those lines, but I just couldn't remember.
That being said, any woman who reads this, with love and admiration, I tell you this: "Cancer does suck, but you do whatever you have to do to get to this other side of it. You become a warrior and make it your goal to set a positive example for those who follow behind us." That is my charge to you. It is a heavy load to carry at times, but you CAN do it. Know that every evening as I lay my head down, I thank the good Lord for his mercy, and I ask him to gently carry YOU through your hard days.
I recently had a CA15-3 cancer marker test done and my number came back at an "8" which indicates my cancer has responded well to the chemo. From what I understand, any number under 32 is ok, but when it rises over that, it becomes a warning that something may be going on. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me a new lease on life. My promise to everyone, and myself, is to not let one day go by wasted and to let people know I appreciate them....because I truly do.
As I was driving along in my little red car with my little chemo fog the other day, a thought occurred to me. What do I wish someone would have told me when all this started....after awhile and time to try to recollect some of the good thoughts and hugs and wishes, I realized that the one thing I wish someone would have said is, "Girl, the next 6 months of your life is going to suck! You're going to feel sick, and you are going to beg God for mercy, BUT you WILL hang in there, and get to the other side of this". Which I'm pretty sure my favorite nurse Leslie did say something along those lines, but I just couldn't remember.
That being said, any woman who reads this, with love and admiration, I tell you this: "Cancer does suck, but you do whatever you have to do to get to this other side of it. You become a warrior and make it your goal to set a positive example for those who follow behind us." That is my charge to you. It is a heavy load to carry at times, but you CAN do it. Know that every evening as I lay my head down, I thank the good Lord for his mercy, and I ask him to gently carry YOU through your hard days.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The Polar Plunge -Melbourne Copsicles
Hello Everyone! Well, I am wasting no time with what time I am granted. This year, I will be dedicating more focus to the Special Olympics, beginning with the Polar Plunge this weekend. Members of the Melbourne Police Department, including myself, will be taking the icy cold plunge into an ice filled wave pool at Disney's Aquatica.
Special Olympics supports intellectually challenged children throughout their entire lives, and funds are raised through law enforcement activities and sponsorships. I ask that if you can, please donate a dollar, or two, or whatever you can spare, to our team, "The Melbourne Copsicles" so we can our part to support these amazing kids and adults.
From my own challenges this past year, I can tell you this; I would not have been able to do much at all had I not had the support, mental and physical of my family, my friends, and YOU. So this has quickly become near and dear to me and I feel that God is using me to help support this and other upcoming events for this wonderful group.
Remember when I said I wanted to run a half-marathon in 2010? Well, when April rolls around and we do our part of the Special Olympics torch run - guess who will be running with the group? Yep, yours truly - that is how committed I am to this project to help others in need. I hope that you find, in your heart, to help me help them. I will post pictures as the events unfold. You can donate on our page at: http://www.firstgiving.com/arlatweedy
Thanks so much and God bless you!
Special Olympics supports intellectually challenged children throughout their entire lives, and funds are raised through law enforcement activities and sponsorships. I ask that if you can, please donate a dollar, or two, or whatever you can spare, to our team, "The Melbourne Copsicles" so we can our part to support these amazing kids and adults.
From my own challenges this past year, I can tell you this; I would not have been able to do much at all had I not had the support, mental and physical of my family, my friends, and YOU. So this has quickly become near and dear to me and I feel that God is using me to help support this and other upcoming events for this wonderful group.
Remember when I said I wanted to run a half-marathon in 2010? Well, when April rolls around and we do our part of the Special Olympics torch run - guess who will be running with the group? Yep, yours truly - that is how committed I am to this project to help others in need. I hope that you find, in your heart, to help me help them. I will post pictures as the events unfold. You can donate on our page at: http://www.firstgiving.com/arlatweedy
Thanks so much and God bless you!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
January 12, 2010
Wow - January 12th and by the grace of God, I'm feeling fairly good! I did 30 minutes on the exercise bike and another 20 on the treadmill! I know it might not sound like much, especially coming from me - a retired soldier, but, 3 months ago, I could hardly sit up by myself,or walk to the mailbox without great pain.
I can't describe the joy I feel inside - I'm just so excited to wake up each morning... I don't ever want to lose this amazing feeling - what a gift. I started back to school to finish my Master's Degree, and although I'm taking what I hear is probably the hardest course, I'm not afraid....I'm diving in and giving it my all!! WOOHOO! And....keeping my fingers crossed.... :)
Whew, now if I can just keep the energy spurts coming!! LOL Happy January!!
Already this year, my thoughts are with so many whose health has not been so good as of late. My brother Johnny, my brother-in-law Hassell, my sister, who is having a knee replacement soon, Ms Shirley K, a veteran, who passed away yesterday, and Adrienne, who continues her battle with breast cancer. I saw Adrienne today and she looked beautiful. I know she didn't feel so great, but she is a woman of faith, and it was clear to me that God's armor is protecting her....
My brother had open heart surgery and is holding his own and my brother-in-law had two stints put in today; thankfully they are doing better, and my sister is looking forward to walking without pain once again after her surgery.
I believe, that even when we think, and wish, and hope, things were different, that all is as it should be in the world as it is HIS plan, and we must keep the faith and believe in HIS love for us. HE has given me a new inspiration to live and love each day, and so be it - I am, one minute, every minute, at a time, and it's a great feeling!!
Love to all~
I can't describe the joy I feel inside - I'm just so excited to wake up each morning... I don't ever want to lose this amazing feeling - what a gift. I started back to school to finish my Master's Degree, and although I'm taking what I hear is probably the hardest course, I'm not afraid....I'm diving in and giving it my all!! WOOHOO! And....keeping my fingers crossed.... :)
Whew, now if I can just keep the energy spurts coming!! LOL Happy January!!
Already this year, my thoughts are with so many whose health has not been so good as of late. My brother Johnny, my brother-in-law Hassell, my sister, who is having a knee replacement soon, Ms Shirley K, a veteran, who passed away yesterday, and Adrienne, who continues her battle with breast cancer. I saw Adrienne today and she looked beautiful. I know she didn't feel so great, but she is a woman of faith, and it was clear to me that God's armor is protecting her....
My brother had open heart surgery and is holding his own and my brother-in-law had two stints put in today; thankfully they are doing better, and my sister is looking forward to walking without pain once again after her surgery.
I believe, that even when we think, and wish, and hope, things were different, that all is as it should be in the world as it is HIS plan, and we must keep the faith and believe in HIS love for us. HE has given me a new inspiration to live and love each day, and so be it - I am, one minute, every minute, at a time, and it's a great feeling!!
Love to all~
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The New Year
Well, the holidays were a joy, albeit busy, but I savored every single moment as I realize things could have been different this year.
I am still under doctor's care and require yet another surgery, but it should go smoothly. I have an upcoming CT Scan that will likely determine whether there is anything else going on in my body - that and a CA15-3 blood test. Personally, I "feel" all is good.
My co-worker's daughter got great news - in lieu of being a Stage 4, they staged her at a 2B. The difference in the two stages is vast and could very well be the difference in her life. I was so pleased upon hearing her news that even though I don't really know the young woman, it overwhelmed me into tears.
My thoughts for the New Year are this - maybe in the past, I was just moseying and getting by, but I am more determined than ever to really live life and not just merely exist in it. (I recently heard that from a friend)....
I hope that you too choose to enjoy and savor every single moment you are granted - life changes so quickly. Thank God for all the miracles....
Cheers to the years ahead! Happy New Year and love to all!!
I am still under doctor's care and require yet another surgery, but it should go smoothly. I have an upcoming CT Scan that will likely determine whether there is anything else going on in my body - that and a CA15-3 blood test. Personally, I "feel" all is good.
My co-worker's daughter got great news - in lieu of being a Stage 4, they staged her at a 2B. The difference in the two stages is vast and could very well be the difference in her life. I was so pleased upon hearing her news that even though I don't really know the young woman, it overwhelmed me into tears.
My thoughts for the New Year are this - maybe in the past, I was just moseying and getting by, but I am more determined than ever to really live life and not just merely exist in it. (I recently heard that from a friend)....
I hope that you too choose to enjoy and savor every single moment you are granted - life changes so quickly. Thank God for all the miracles....
Cheers to the years ahead! Happy New Year and love to all!!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
It's Christmas-time
Christmas 2009....Wasn't so sure I would live to see it, but thank God I am here. My spirit is filled with thanks and amazement as I look around and see the joy in others' eyes - especially the children. Especially my own children - I am so grateful to spend another year with them. Brad and Kyle, I love you more than words can ever express.
I hope parents take the time to teach their children the true meaning of Christ-mas, so they can carry in their hearts with them as adults.
I wish you all the brightest, safest, happiest days ahead as we share our Christmas with those we love. Keeping the Christ in Christmas and wishing you peace and love.
See you in 2010....love to all....and thank you for sharing my unexpected journey with me this year.
I hope parents take the time to teach their children the true meaning of Christ-mas, so they can carry in their hearts with them as adults.
I wish you all the brightest, safest, happiest days ahead as we share our Christmas with those we love. Keeping the Christ in Christmas and wishing you peace and love.
See you in 2010....love to all....and thank you for sharing my unexpected journey with me this year.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Countdown to Christmas
Six months ago I received the worst news of my life, and now, here it is just 7 days before Christmas and I'm just so happy, and grateful, to still be here to thoroughly enjoy it. Wow - life is good, huh?
This year, I am so thrilled with the littlest of things and am sitting back and taking it all in as if it were brand new.....I don't want to miss a thing.
Make your Christmas a time filled with special memories that will rest in your heart and soul forever. And don't forget to keep the Christ in Christ-mas.....
This year, I am so thrilled with the littlest of things and am sitting back and taking it all in as if it were brand new.....I don't want to miss a thing.
Make your Christmas a time filled with special memories that will rest in your heart and soul forever. And don't forget to keep the Christ in Christ-mas.....
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Special Note
This morning, I found out that another special someone just found out she has an advanced breast cancer. What I want to say to her is this: "Adrienne, have HOPE!"
There are thousands of women who have come before you in this, and they are fighting a good fight, and you will too.
We are here with you, supporting you, and praying for you.......and I am available, day or night, if you ever need someone to talk to. God be with you.
There are thousands of women who have come before you in this, and they are fighting a good fight, and you will too.
We are here with you, supporting you, and praying for you.......and I am available, day or night, if you ever need someone to talk to. God be with you.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Feeling Better
Well, I can tell that my final "third" week is over.
Yesterday, for the first time in SIX MONTHS, I felt "good". I wasn't completely dragging my feet and everything I did didn't exhaust me. I woke up feeling rested. So, aside from still recovering from the surgery with swollen breasts, it was good.
It was definitely a day I relished. Today, I still feel well, but I didn't sleep so good, and I can feel the difference. All in due time......
Happy Tuesday!
Yesterday, for the first time in SIX MONTHS, I felt "good". I wasn't completely dragging my feet and everything I did didn't exhaust me. I woke up feeling rested. So, aside from still recovering from the surgery with swollen breasts, it was good.
It was definitely a day I relished. Today, I still feel well, but I didn't sleep so good, and I can feel the difference. All in due time......
Happy Tuesday!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Feeling tired but better
Well, I went in for a check up yesterday and it seems that everything will start to wind down now. The doctors have done everything they can to kill the beast, the rest is up to God. In other words, as it stands, I am cancer free today and can consider myself a 6-month survivor.
The true test of time is two years. Because my cancer was so aggressive, if it is going to come back it would rear its ugly head within the next 18 months. I will do everything I can do on my end to prevent it.....and then pray. I still believe that although this has been a nightmare for me and my family, it has re-awakened my soul and zest for life.
As for now, I remain exhausted, but hey, like my oncologist said yesterday, "Um, let's see, you've had 4 major surgeries, the flu, AND got hit by a truck.....Don't you think its time for your body to rest???" Duly noted, Ma'am. For the rest of the year, I am committed to letting my body recover....
Wishing you all the happiest of days as you move this beautiful Christmas season.....
The true test of time is two years. Because my cancer was so aggressive, if it is going to come back it would rear its ugly head within the next 18 months. I will do everything I can do on my end to prevent it.....and then pray. I still believe that although this has been a nightmare for me and my family, it has re-awakened my soul and zest for life.
As for now, I remain exhausted, but hey, like my oncologist said yesterday, "Um, let's see, you've had 4 major surgeries, the flu, AND got hit by a truck.....Don't you think its time for your body to rest???" Duly noted, Ma'am. For the rest of the year, I am committed to letting my body recover....
Wishing you all the happiest of days as you move this beautiful Christmas season.....
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The Good Lord Knows
Well, as I said in my previous post, the Good Lord knows what he is doing and I'm glad I put all my trust in him because I got a big surprise yesterday at the hospital. In order to prevent an additional surgery in January, my amazing doctors decided to go full speed ahead and remove BOTH expanders and give me my new permanent silicone implants. For Thanksgiving, I've been given the gift of two new "turkey breasts".....lololol... For Christmas, I think I'll pop on a couple bows and think good thoughts!
Now, the next major hurdle is to hope for no rejection of the implants. This is HUGE!! If my body rejects them, they have to take them out for 6 MONTHS - which would be bad. The guy hitting me was a big setback that affected my overall health, but I believe in good things, and so I hope, they shall come to me.
The surgery went well and I now have a smaller, softer, more feminine chest for which I am mighty grateful. I am up and moving around, albeit slowly. This surgery was as complicated, but somewhat less painful than the original bilateral mastectomy. So that and good painkillers keeps me feeling fair.
I wish you all a beautiful and very special Thanksgiving. Do your best to make it memorable ~ we never know what is to come our way...God Bless.
Now, the next major hurdle is to hope for no rejection of the implants. This is HUGE!! If my body rejects them, they have to take them out for 6 MONTHS - which would be bad. The guy hitting me was a big setback that affected my overall health, but I believe in good things, and so I hope, they shall come to me.
The surgery went well and I now have a smaller, softer, more feminine chest for which I am mighty grateful. I am up and moving around, albeit slowly. This surgery was as complicated, but somewhat less painful than the original bilateral mastectomy. So that and good painkillers keeps me feeling fair.
I wish you all a beautiful and very special Thanksgiving. Do your best to make it memorable ~ we never know what is to come our way...God Bless.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sooner than Expected
Just to let you all know, as I figured, I am now required to have surgery - MUCH earlier than January. It is scheduled for Wednesday. They need to go in and repair all the damage that was done when I was hit by the truck. The bruises turned into "dead zones" by turning black, and finally opened up into holes.....lucky me - I've sprung a leak.
Trying to keep my spirits up and I know the Good Lord knows what he is doing, so I place my trust in HIM that all will be well. Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Trying to keep my spirits up and I know the Good Lord knows what he is doing, so I place my trust in HIM that all will be well. Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Feeling better
Well, it's Sunday evening, and I'm finally feeling a bit better. At least my strength is returning. Thank goodness! I was starting to get worried! :)
My breast finally sprung the dreaded leak. The bruising from when the guy hit me died and has now opened an area the size of about a dime, maybe a tad smaller. This is bad news. It means that the breast has now been compromised, so when I get up tomorrow, I have to call in to Tampa and my guess is that they will have to do surgery to close it up. In order to close it, they'll have to open it, take out the expander, clean it, and replace it.
All because someone wasn't paying attention when they were driving. Real nice - thanks, bud.
I've been hearing alot about this new recommendation about not getting mammograms until age 50. WTF! Clearly, the people who were in charge of this program have no clue about breast cancer - it is not getting better, it is getting worse, and women are getting it at much younger ages. If I had not had my mammogram when I did, I would not see 46 years old or ever meet my grandchildren. The idea of raising the age limit to 50 is ludicrous. I put that recommendation in the same pile of crap as Suzanne Somers who now chemotherapy does not cure breast cancer.....I have some words for that woman...."Go back to your Malibu barbie house, real women don't need false preachers". Suzanne is being irresponsible and ludicrous; every single day a woman's life is saved via chemotherapy because of breast cancer. Hey Suzanne, here's two more words for you, "Triple Negative" - look it up and get smart.
For any woman reading this who is new to breast cancer, remember the following:
1. Do your homework - don't rely on anyone to tell you everything
2. You will read plenty that you don't want to see - take it in doses and remember the hope
3. Get a second opinion
4. Make sure the doctor you choose is board certified in oncology
5. Choose to live or choose to die - then fight hard!
6. Cancer is aggressive, so you must be aggressive in your treatment.
7. Come out here to find others like yourself - you are NOT alone.
8. It is ok to get mad, cry, laugh, and do it again, over and over and over.
9. It's a hard road to recovery but thousands do it everyday, so can you.
10. Hang in there.
11. Ask questions - lots of them - and don't stop asking - this is YOUR life and it is important that you be kept informed every step of the way.
12. Keep a journal; whether here or in a notebook, takes notes, write down your thoughts, write down questions. Put it all there so when you are ready, you can go back and re-read how far you have come.
13. Don't be afraid to let others help. They really want to, so let them.
14. It's ok to be tired and weary, just remember why God gave you knees - keep him in the equation.....
15. Never listen to Suzanne Somers.
There, I guess that about covers it for now. I had hoped to do a video and post it here this weekend, but my camera wouldn't cover it all.....so now I search for a camera that will take about 8 minutes worth. Basically, I want to explain the above information a little more thoroughly. Hopefully, it will help someone one day.
I hope you all have a blessed and safe Thanksgiving week. As for me and my family, I cherish every single moment that I am here with them and it feels great....Love to all.
My breast finally sprung the dreaded leak. The bruising from when the guy hit me died and has now opened an area the size of about a dime, maybe a tad smaller. This is bad news. It means that the breast has now been compromised, so when I get up tomorrow, I have to call in to Tampa and my guess is that they will have to do surgery to close it up. In order to close it, they'll have to open it, take out the expander, clean it, and replace it.
All because someone wasn't paying attention when they were driving. Real nice - thanks, bud.
I've been hearing alot about this new recommendation about not getting mammograms until age 50. WTF! Clearly, the people who were in charge of this program have no clue about breast cancer - it is not getting better, it is getting worse, and women are getting it at much younger ages. If I had not had my mammogram when I did, I would not see 46 years old or ever meet my grandchildren. The idea of raising the age limit to 50 is ludicrous. I put that recommendation in the same pile of crap as Suzanne Somers who now chemotherapy does not cure breast cancer.....I have some words for that woman...."Go back to your Malibu barbie house, real women don't need false preachers". Suzanne is being irresponsible and ludicrous; every single day a woman's life is saved via chemotherapy because of breast cancer. Hey Suzanne, here's two more words for you, "Triple Negative" - look it up and get smart.
For any woman reading this who is new to breast cancer, remember the following:
1. Do your homework - don't rely on anyone to tell you everything
2. You will read plenty that you don't want to see - take it in doses and remember the hope
3. Get a second opinion
4. Make sure the doctor you choose is board certified in oncology
5. Choose to live or choose to die - then fight hard!
6. Cancer is aggressive, so you must be aggressive in your treatment.
7. Come out here to find others like yourself - you are NOT alone.
8. It is ok to get mad, cry, laugh, and do it again, over and over and over.
9. It's a hard road to recovery but thousands do it everyday, so can you.
10. Hang in there.
11. Ask questions - lots of them - and don't stop asking - this is YOUR life and it is important that you be kept informed every step of the way.
12. Keep a journal; whether here or in a notebook, takes notes, write down your thoughts, write down questions. Put it all there so when you are ready, you can go back and re-read how far you have come.
13. Don't be afraid to let others help. They really want to, so let them.
14. It's ok to be tired and weary, just remember why God gave you knees - keep him in the equation.....
15. Never listen to Suzanne Somers.
There, I guess that about covers it for now. I had hoped to do a video and post it here this weekend, but my camera wouldn't cover it all.....so now I search for a camera that will take about 8 minutes worth. Basically, I want to explain the above information a little more thoroughly. Hopefully, it will help someone one day.
I hope you all have a blessed and safe Thanksgiving week. As for me and my family, I cherish every single moment that I am here with them and it feels great....Love to all.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
One Day at a Time
Well, it has been one week since my final chemo treatment. I would love to say it has been uneventful, but I'd be lying. In keeping with tradition for 2009, God had other plans for the month of November. He decided to send me one more curve ball by adding in the freaking flu. WT****!!!
As if a dense and final dose of killer chemotherapy was not enough, apparently, he saw fit for me to get the flu and bring me to my knees for the last five days. I honestly don't believe I've ever been more ill in my life. Holy crap....sometimes I wonder what I have done, but it is not for me to ask why.....although in my angry moments I can get pretty pissy. This time around I was too weak to care. Between the chemo, the aching of the breasts, and the flu, nothing really mattered because I was too miserable. Anyway, I'm not whining, just trying to reflect how I've felt this week. There was a point where I nearly just gave up. I had a 103 temp, my body ached, my head hurt, my mouth is raw, and absolutely nothing tasted - at all.....and I was so, so so weak. Man, it sucked big time. My breast is in trouble and I'm doing everything I can to protect it, but the only thing I can really do is hope and wait. It's color is not good and I need 5 more weeks....God, give me just 5 weeks, please....
BUT on the upside, I'm getting back on the road to feeling better. One day out from the fever breaking, thank you Tamiflu and a Z-Pak, and Amoxicillan (yes, they have me on ALL 3) and I hope to regain some strength today so I can return to work tomorrow.
The plan is to have dinner w/friends and see the "New Moon" movie together - for which I will properly prepare myself with a MASK!!! Hey, I should fit right in, huh?
Anyway, as we draw nearer to Thanksgiving, I just want you all to know how grateful I am for having you in my lives, virtual and in person. You have been SO important throughout these past months and your love and support has been amazing. I am monumentally aware of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful support group. I am eternally grateful. I love you all.
As if a dense and final dose of killer chemotherapy was not enough, apparently, he saw fit for me to get the flu and bring me to my knees for the last five days. I honestly don't believe I've ever been more ill in my life. Holy crap....sometimes I wonder what I have done, but it is not for me to ask why.....although in my angry moments I can get pretty pissy. This time around I was too weak to care. Between the chemo, the aching of the breasts, and the flu, nothing really mattered because I was too miserable. Anyway, I'm not whining, just trying to reflect how I've felt this week. There was a point where I nearly just gave up. I had a 103 temp, my body ached, my head hurt, my mouth is raw, and absolutely nothing tasted - at all.....and I was so, so so weak. Man, it sucked big time. My breast is in trouble and I'm doing everything I can to protect it, but the only thing I can really do is hope and wait. It's color is not good and I need 5 more weeks....God, give me just 5 weeks, please....
BUT on the upside, I'm getting back on the road to feeling better. One day out from the fever breaking, thank you Tamiflu and a Z-Pak, and Amoxicillan (yes, they have me on ALL 3) and I hope to regain some strength today so I can return to work tomorrow.
The plan is to have dinner w/friends and see the "New Moon" movie together - for which I will properly prepare myself with a MASK!!! Hey, I should fit right in, huh?
Anyway, as we draw nearer to Thanksgiving, I just want you all to know how grateful I am for having you in my lives, virtual and in person. You have been SO important throughout these past months and your love and support has been amazing. I am monumentally aware of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful support group. I am eternally grateful. I love you all.
Friday, November 13, 2009
It is Done
Yesterday, November 12, 2009, I endured what I hope to be my very last chemotherapy. It was rather an emotional day for me, because I know that everything that has been done up to this point is the clear line....It either works, or it doesn't. I believe very strongly that for me, this route I've taken with the assistance of fine doctors and nurses was the best route for my cancer and that I will come out on top as a survivor who can help other women.
As I've said many times before, my faith is stronger than ever and I trust that the Lord will see fit that my journey has many more years to play out. I know how hard this has been on me, and my children, my family, and friends. I thank every single one of you for standing by me, in darkness and in light. Without you, I don't know what I would have done.
There are still more surgeries to go, tests to take and tons of follow ups, all of which I pray will be fine. I will continue to post my story here because even though the chemo has ended my journey continues. And not just for me, but for all women out there who endure this disease, and for those who have lost their lives to it.
I am committed to breast cancer, just as it has committed to me and it HAS changed my life monumentally. Just because I am declared "cancer free" does not mean I will let this go - I will continue to support causes that support breast cancer research and I will write, and I will blog, and I will preach about it. Please be patient with me if I bore you - my goal is to help save lives....God willing, I hope that one day, breast cancer will be defeated.
Today, one day out from my last treatment, I feel hope. I feel ill, but I feel so much hope for the future. Wow - it is a good day!
As I've said many times before, my faith is stronger than ever and I trust that the Lord will see fit that my journey has many more years to play out. I know how hard this has been on me, and my children, my family, and friends. I thank every single one of you for standing by me, in darkness and in light. Without you, I don't know what I would have done.
There are still more surgeries to go, tests to take and tons of follow ups, all of which I pray will be fine. I will continue to post my story here because even though the chemo has ended my journey continues. And not just for me, but for all women out there who endure this disease, and for those who have lost their lives to it.
I am committed to breast cancer, just as it has committed to me and it HAS changed my life monumentally. Just because I am declared "cancer free" does not mean I will let this go - I will continue to support causes that support breast cancer research and I will write, and I will blog, and I will preach about it. Please be patient with me if I bore you - my goal is to help save lives....God willing, I hope that one day, breast cancer will be defeated.
Today, one day out from my last treatment, I feel hope. I feel ill, but I feel so much hope for the future. Wow - it is a good day!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
This is it
So, today I woke up and realized that this trip back to Tampa will be the last one I have to go for chemo purposes.....Tomorrow is my LAST chemotherapy! I am elated. My breast is holding up - literally - ha! So it would appear that I can endure the last round...thank you Jesus....I just don't think I could do this again. It's so hard, so so hard.
To give you an idea, just walking to get the mail is actually a chore - I'm completely exhausted and the mailbox is only across my street. Work, although I love it, drains my body of all energy. I have to rest when I get home. It's almost like full body atrophy....that's the only thing I can think of. I don't think I could do hand to hand combat right now if I had to defend myself, so its a good thing I have a pit bull and weaponry. But this too shall pass.......I believe.... My sister Pam is doing well and she doesn't realize it, but each day that she continues to be well inspires me. Apparently, we have the same exact genes, so she gives me hope...she's a two-year plus Triple negative survivor. Amazing and blessed...
Wish me luck - this is one trip I'm looking forward to putting behind me!
To give you an idea, just walking to get the mail is actually a chore - I'm completely exhausted and the mailbox is only across my street. Work, although I love it, drains my body of all energy. I have to rest when I get home. It's almost like full body atrophy....that's the only thing I can think of. I don't think I could do hand to hand combat right now if I had to defend myself, so its a good thing I have a pit bull and weaponry. But this too shall pass.......I believe.... My sister Pam is doing well and she doesn't realize it, but each day that she continues to be well inspires me. Apparently, we have the same exact genes, so she gives me hope...she's a two-year plus Triple negative survivor. Amazing and blessed...
Wish me luck - this is one trip I'm looking forward to putting behind me!
Monday, November 9, 2009
New Day New Music
Friday was a tough day, but I'm holding my own and keeping the faith. This weekend, I heard a new song by Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews called "I'm Alive". It is a beautiful song and it reminded me to be grateful for the littlest of things. I am alive......I've posted the video and song here to the right so you can listen to it.
As I think about it, when I first found out I had breast cancer, Miley Cyrus came out with "The Climb" and I couldn't listen to it without crying because I had an idea of drastically my life was to change because my sister Pam had already been through it. Well, I've survived the climb up only to luckily be walking on the down slope with hope. And now, with absolute perfect timing comes "I'm Alive".
Wow, God knew I needed a special message and HE sent it to me. The message of hope I have for everyone today is to listen to the little messages God sends you. Hopefully, it will be something quiet, gentle, and nurturing and you will know that HE is talking to you. I heard him. Lucky me.....
As I think about it, when I first found out I had breast cancer, Miley Cyrus came out with "The Climb" and I couldn't listen to it without crying because I had an idea of drastically my life was to change because my sister Pam had already been through it. Well, I've survived the climb up only to luckily be walking on the down slope with hope. And now, with absolute perfect timing comes "I'm Alive".
Wow, God knew I needed a special message and HE sent it to me. The message of hope I have for everyone today is to listen to the little messages God sends you. Hopefully, it will be something quiet, gentle, and nurturing and you will know that HE is talking to you. I heard him. Lucky me.....
Friday, November 6, 2009
Setback
Well, I went to Tampa today because my breast has continued to hurt since I was hit in the parking lot. It is very bruised and reddened. After an ultrasound and x-rays, there is real concern of my breast opening up. I have a seroma and two area's (black or bruised spots) that makes everyone crease their eyebrows. Not much they can do at the moment except hope. So, they have put some steri-strips on it to hold it closed and put me back in a compression top. Now, just pray it stays together until after my chemo next week.
Flippin wonderful - this sucks. I was doing well and with one more chemo to go, this could totally ruin my healing schedule. Yep, I'm crazy upset about it and I'm angry. Dammit - that's all I need is another surgery right now because someone wasn't paying attention. I guess, unofficially, I'm now a mess.
The more I write, the more pissed off and depressed I get so I need to try and just let it go tonight. I'm off to read some words of wisdom and faith. I wish everyone a peaceful weekend filled with great reflection and hope. Love to all.
Flippin wonderful - this sucks. I was doing well and with one more chemo to go, this could totally ruin my healing schedule. Yep, I'm crazy upset about it and I'm angry. Dammit - that's all I need is another surgery right now because someone wasn't paying attention. I guess, unofficially, I'm now a mess.
The more I write, the more pissed off and depressed I get so I need to try and just let it go tonight. I'm off to read some words of wisdom and faith. I wish everyone a peaceful weekend filled with great reflection and hope. Love to all.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Fun conversations
Well, yesterday morning, my doctor put me in "isolation" if you will. He told me, go home, go to bed, and stay there for a few days. Your blood counts are way off and your white blood cells are very low at 1.9. Essentially, I have nothing to ward off germs....so here I sit.
I did have to pick up my son at the airport last night and I took his car thinking I was picking up him and his friend that went with him. Well, it took me longer than expected to get there and that was ok because he got to wait on me for a change! HA!
Anyway, while driving, my ex-husband called and there must have been quite a conversation that took place during Kyle's visit because, he and his wife were concerned. We must have talked, and laughed for 30 minutes. He reminded me of old times and expressed their support. It did my heart so much good. For many years we have had what I would consider to be a good relationship. I always loved him, I just couldn't live with him. And his wife, Lori, well she's pretty special, too. He could have done so much worse and if something does go bad with me, I feel safe knowing that she will do whatever she can to hold our family together. This I believe. I think that little trip last night was a special gift from God, reminding me of my past and my present. One thing I thought a bit strange was that he wanted a photo of me - with my bald head. He said it signified my strength. Strength my a** - more like sheer fear and determination to annihilate the enemy within. But I really appreciated his thoughts....hmm, who knows, maybe I'll send them one. Lori and I talked and laughed for awhile as well. She really is a funny woman - and I genuinely appreciate her support. I'm so glad we are friends.
Today....homemade Italiano Rigatoni....yummmm! Already ate some - couldn't take the aroma anymore - HAD to try it. It rocked....
Happy Halloween and love to all! Cheers~
I did have to pick up my son at the airport last night and I took his car thinking I was picking up him and his friend that went with him. Well, it took me longer than expected to get there and that was ok because he got to wait on me for a change! HA!
Anyway, while driving, my ex-husband called and there must have been quite a conversation that took place during Kyle's visit because, he and his wife were concerned. We must have talked, and laughed for 30 minutes. He reminded me of old times and expressed their support. It did my heart so much good. For many years we have had what I would consider to be a good relationship. I always loved him, I just couldn't live with him. And his wife, Lori, well she's pretty special, too. He could have done so much worse and if something does go bad with me, I feel safe knowing that she will do whatever she can to hold our family together. This I believe. I think that little trip last night was a special gift from God, reminding me of my past and my present. One thing I thought a bit strange was that he wanted a photo of me - with my bald head. He said it signified my strength. Strength my a** - more like sheer fear and determination to annihilate the enemy within. But I really appreciated his thoughts....hmm, who knows, maybe I'll send them one. Lori and I talked and laughed for awhile as well. She really is a funny woman - and I genuinely appreciate her support. I'm so glad we are friends.
Today....homemade Italiano Rigatoni....yummmm! Already ate some - couldn't take the aroma anymore - HAD to try it. It rocked....
Happy Halloween and love to all! Cheers~
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Slow Week and The Shield
This week has been uneventful thus far. Thank goodness. I praise the day when I no longer have to go a doctor's appointment, or wake up feeling yucky. And sleep.....wow, how I miss a good night's sleep. At times, I feel like these "temporary" breasts can be a bit overrated. They are fully expanded but very hard, so it makes it quite difficult to sleep....but HEY - I am NOT complaining, just conversing!! I am very grateful for where I am right now. First, I am alive, and second, it could be SO much worse - and believe me, I take not one minute for granted.
As I said on my Facebook page, I think that cancer may have been good for me. For the last few years, I think have just been muddling along with no real passion or direction, and it found me. I've never been more passionate in my life than to ensure I live each day to its fullest and to absorb everything that goes on around me and those I care most about. I am also fully aware that my life rests in whatever God's choice is for me and my family. It is my job to believe, and hope, and pray.
I would also like to acknowledge the members of "The Shield", a group (that I also work with) who pays tribute to families of law enforcement. Yesterday, they overwhelmed me with a surprise. They gave me an envelope....of love. Actually, it contained a sum of money from a bake sale. I nearly cried. Not because of the money, which I am grateful for, but what it really represents - their love and friendship. When the chips are down, you learn who are your real friends and who are not. John P, Lisette, Peggy, Ray, Cary, Emily, and the rest of you - I humbly thank you for your true friendship, prayers, and continued support to my family. You amaze me and I am eternally grateful.
As I said on my Facebook page, I think that cancer may have been good for me. For the last few years, I think have just been muddling along with no real passion or direction, and it found me. I've never been more passionate in my life than to ensure I live each day to its fullest and to absorb everything that goes on around me and those I care most about. I am also fully aware that my life rests in whatever God's choice is for me and my family. It is my job to believe, and hope, and pray.
I would also like to acknowledge the members of "The Shield", a group (that I also work with) who pays tribute to families of law enforcement. Yesterday, they overwhelmed me with a surprise. They gave me an envelope....of love. Actually, it contained a sum of money from a bake sale. I nearly cried. Not because of the money, which I am grateful for, but what it really represents - their love and friendship. When the chips are down, you learn who are your real friends and who are not. John P, Lisette, Peggy, Ray, Cary, Emily, and the rest of you - I humbly thank you for your true friendship, prayers, and continued support to my family. You amaze me and I am eternally grateful.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
HOPE Filled Saturday
On October 24, 2009, I walked my first walk as a Breast Cancer Survivor. I gotta tell you, it damn near took me down between the heat and NO WATER, but it was an amazing and uplifting experience. I saw friends there, too, ones that I wish I could have said were not in the crowd of "survivors" being introduced....One by one, every woman came forth and gave her name, her City, and total time she's been a survivor. Together we totaled over 500 years! That's a lot of surviving!!! I believe the kinship I felt as I walked this walk is unparalleled in my life. At the end of the walk I had to sit down for some time - I think I was paralyzed by the heat. I know, I know, I shouldn't have been in the sun and I just had chemo, but this was my chance to walk alongside other women like myself. I carried many with me in spirit yesterday as I walked: My mother, my sister Pam, Dolores, Ann (who just had her surgery), Lori, my cousins, Caroline, Debbie, Meditating Spirit, and Liz's mom.
As tired as I was, a peaceful feeling crept over me. (OK maybe it was just a bit of exhaustion too!) More than 4,000 people walked with me (us) and all that money raised will go to finding a cure. I truly believe that research today may not help me, but it WILL help change the future for women and one day breast cancer will be a thing of the past. This was so huge and I want to live to help bring that change about!
My youngest turns 21 tomorrow....wow....I sure do love my "babies" and I'm so glad they are all grown up and doing well. You make me a very proud mama, boys.....I love you infinitely....
As tired as I was, a peaceful feeling crept over me. (OK maybe it was just a bit of exhaustion too!) More than 4,000 people walked with me (us) and all that money raised will go to finding a cure. I truly believe that research today may not help me, but it WILL help change the future for women and one day breast cancer will be a thing of the past. This was so huge and I want to live to help bring that change about!
My youngest turns 21 tomorrow....wow....I sure do love my "babies" and I'm so glad they are all grown up and doing well. You make me a very proud mama, boys.....I love you infinitely....
Thursday, October 22, 2009
One More Down, One to Go!
I had another round of chemotherapy yesterday and this one was a little tougher. My body is doing its best and fighting hard against this chemical, but the chemical is doing what it is supposed to be doing and as such it knocks me back a bit, so I am just going to hang in there.
On a sad note, I received a couple phone calls this morning, neither of which helped me from yesterday. While sitting in chemo, another man that I've seen there each time was told he was terminal. It was all I could do to keep from crying because I watched the hope fade from his eyes and it deeply saddened me. I just wanted to hug him. I can tell you just from what I myself have been through that hope is the one thing we hold onto. I cannot grasp someone taking that from me. But I saw it in him as he said he wanted to go home. That I understood.
One phone call was to let me know about one of my very special (favorite) volunteers at the PD, Don. A few months ago, he was diagnosed as having a terminal cancer but he's been up and going since, almost as if he were fine, just a little more tired. He even wanted to come back and continue volunteering which we of course would have embraced. He died around 0400 this morning. Again, my heart ached. An absolute joy of a person that I adored. And his wife, well they were best friends for many many years and they have grown children. Today, I write for him. I will miss you my friend. Thank you for sharing your family and your friendship. Via Condios.
The other call was because a co-worker's wife who had been ill for some time had also passed. In her case, I think it was divine intervention. That family has endured great heartache throughout her illness. But, it does not take away from the fact that it was a woman, a wife, a mother, a loved person, who will be greatly missed by many. May she too rest in peace.
And finally, a little 7 year old girl named Somer Thompson was abducted from Orange County, FL and found of all places, in a landfill. What kind of a monster take the life of an innocent child? This is just so wrong on so many levels. The scary part is that many little girls and young women have gone missing here in the last few years, none with good turnouts.
As you can probably tell, my heart is a little heavy today, but I know that God is in charge here, not me. It is my position to trust in him, whatever it is, and just let God do his job. Therefore, I must believe that these men, this woman, and this child are now being carefully held in HIS arms and will have an eternal future in heaven. This is what I hope. Have a blessed day and be thankful for each moment you have.
On a sad note, I received a couple phone calls this morning, neither of which helped me from yesterday. While sitting in chemo, another man that I've seen there each time was told he was terminal. It was all I could do to keep from crying because I watched the hope fade from his eyes and it deeply saddened me. I just wanted to hug him. I can tell you just from what I myself have been through that hope is the one thing we hold onto. I cannot grasp someone taking that from me. But I saw it in him as he said he wanted to go home. That I understood.
One phone call was to let me know about one of my very special (favorite) volunteers at the PD, Don. A few months ago, he was diagnosed as having a terminal cancer but he's been up and going since, almost as if he were fine, just a little more tired. He even wanted to come back and continue volunteering which we of course would have embraced. He died around 0400 this morning. Again, my heart ached. An absolute joy of a person that I adored. And his wife, well they were best friends for many many years and they have grown children. Today, I write for him. I will miss you my friend. Thank you for sharing your family and your friendship. Via Condios.
The other call was because a co-worker's wife who had been ill for some time had also passed. In her case, I think it was divine intervention. That family has endured great heartache throughout her illness. But, it does not take away from the fact that it was a woman, a wife, a mother, a loved person, who will be greatly missed by many. May she too rest in peace.
And finally, a little 7 year old girl named Somer Thompson was abducted from Orange County, FL and found of all places, in a landfill. What kind of a monster take the life of an innocent child? This is just so wrong on so many levels. The scary part is that many little girls and young women have gone missing here in the last few years, none with good turnouts.
As you can probably tell, my heart is a little heavy today, but I know that God is in charge here, not me. It is my position to trust in him, whatever it is, and just let God do his job. Therefore, I must believe that these men, this woman, and this child are now being carefully held in HIS arms and will have an eternal future in heaven. This is what I hope. Have a blessed day and be thankful for each moment you have.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Back to Work
Well, it was back to work again today - thank goodness! :) I will go in tomorrow as well but have to gear up for my next chemo treatment on Wednesday. I do understand why these are so dreaded. Aside from the obvious discomfort, having deadly chemicals put into your body to kill bad cells, and good, and know that you are going to get ill, is no fun. But somehow, I continue to push forward and I am under the 30 day mark now. Nov 12th, 2009 will be my last chemo treatment - thank you Jesus!! I almost feel like a child getting ready to taste ice cream for the first time because I don't want to miss a thing from now on and I feel so alive.....wow...for all the hurt, and the tears, and the fear, there is hope, and while there is hope, I will thrive and survive.
Preaching time: If I haven't said it enough already, let me say it again - please, please ladies, get your annual mammograms!! I can only sit here and write and tell you what I am learning on this journey - and believe me, I don't want YOU to have to experience any of it. Know this, most mammograms will detect a problem, but there are those that miss them, and further, some doctor's will inadvertently misdiagnose, so it is absolutely imperative that you take charge of your health! If you think there "might" be a problem, get a second opinion, or demand more testing. And as I've said before, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!!! If I hadn't been so tired, I might not have gone to the doc, and not gotten my mammogram - and that would have cost me my beautiful life. Some women, will never have the chance to go back and do that. Google Karen Olga George,and read her story. She died from breast cancer at the tender age of 33. Daughter, wife, mother of two boys.....gone, because of a misdiagnosis. I cried while reading her blog and her husband's entry after she passed.
If my passion to promote breast cancer awareness is to continue, I have to start somewhere, so it starts here, with me, and YOU. When I'm out, I am constantly aware of others looking at me, and I don't run, I smile and say hello. I want it to open that line of communication - because that's what it is all about. Communication, education, and technology... More than 100,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year, and next year, and the next year -that is A LOT of women!!! And way too many of them will die. Another 1,000 diagnoses will be men and a lot of them will die as well. The environment we live in won't change anytime soon, so we need to ensure that we change our attitudes so that we can live and we help be the change for future generations. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to make a difference, even if it is just a tiny one... baby steps lead to walking... love to all
Preaching time: If I haven't said it enough already, let me say it again - please, please ladies, get your annual mammograms!! I can only sit here and write and tell you what I am learning on this journey - and believe me, I don't want YOU to have to experience any of it. Know this, most mammograms will detect a problem, but there are those that miss them, and further, some doctor's will inadvertently misdiagnose, so it is absolutely imperative that you take charge of your health! If you think there "might" be a problem, get a second opinion, or demand more testing. And as I've said before, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!!! If I hadn't been so tired, I might not have gone to the doc, and not gotten my mammogram - and that would have cost me my beautiful life. Some women, will never have the chance to go back and do that. Google Karen Olga George,and read her story. She died from breast cancer at the tender age of 33. Daughter, wife, mother of two boys.....gone, because of a misdiagnosis. I cried while reading her blog and her husband's entry after she passed.
If my passion to promote breast cancer awareness is to continue, I have to start somewhere, so it starts here, with me, and YOU. When I'm out, I am constantly aware of others looking at me, and I don't run, I smile and say hello. I want it to open that line of communication - because that's what it is all about. Communication, education, and technology... More than 100,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year, and next year, and the next year -that is A LOT of women!!! And way too many of them will die. Another 1,000 diagnoses will be men and a lot of them will die as well. The environment we live in won't change anytime soon, so we need to ensure that we change our attitudes so that we can live and we help be the change for future generations. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to make a difference, even if it is just a tiny one... baby steps lead to walking... love to all
Friday, October 16, 2009
I'm back!
Good morning everyone. Well, I'm finally going to go back to work. Last week was a real zinger and it really knocked me back a few steps. Aside from the physical ailments of a concussion and several muscle spasms along w/cervical and hip sprains, I think it got me emotionally, too. Might I recommend NEVER getting hit by a GMC truck - it hurts like hell.
I did find myself in tears a few times but I am going to be ok. It was just several things, the cancer, the hit by a car thing, my battery going dead in my car, etc., a list of things that just overwhelmed me. BUT, I'm getting back to what can be considered normal - at least mentally....if that's possible...lol.
I'm still sore and bruised from the hit, but I feel a little stronger. I came in to work today knowing that that will help me feel better too. I do love my job, that's for sure. And I need to psyche myself up for next week's chemo session....
Anyway, thanks so much for all of your support. You continue to lift me up - especially when I have those down moments. I am eternally grateful.
I did find myself in tears a few times but I am going to be ok. It was just several things, the cancer, the hit by a car thing, my battery going dead in my car, etc., a list of things that just overwhelmed me. BUT, I'm getting back to what can be considered normal - at least mentally....if that's possible...lol.
I'm still sore and bruised from the hit, but I feel a little stronger. I came in to work today knowing that that will help me feel better too. I do love my job, that's for sure. And I need to psyche myself up for next week's chemo session....
Anyway, thanks so much for all of your support. You continue to lift me up - especially when I have those down moments. I am eternally grateful.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Ever feel like you've been hit by a truck?
OK, me too - only I was.....Yesterday, I was walking through our parking lot at the Police Department and *poof* out of what seemed like nowhere, I was picking myself up off the concrete. As I walking, a GMC or Suburban, or something like that, backed out of his parking place and knocked me on my keester.....I think I actually saw stars. I was talking to another employee on the phone one minute, and the next, I was flying sideways.
Needless to say, I had to go to the ER. And today I feel like I've been hit by a truck! Everything hurts; my neck, my hip, my back, my elbows, my port and boobs... geesh.... I still can't believe it, it was just so surreal.
Anyway, I had immediate support from the Department, Fire/EMS, and the ER and I just wanted to publicly thank everyone for rushing to my aid. Personally, I'm kind of like a cat that when injured, and not wanting attention, I prefer to flee to lick my wounds, but thanks to everyone who was there, I obtained immediate medical care and I'm very, very grateful. So, thank you MPD and MFD, as always, you go above and beyond to help those in need.
Needless to say, I had to go to the ER. And today I feel like I've been hit by a truck! Everything hurts; my neck, my hip, my back, my elbows, my port and boobs... geesh.... I still can't believe it, it was just so surreal.
Anyway, I had immediate support from the Department, Fire/EMS, and the ER and I just wanted to publicly thank everyone for rushing to my aid. Personally, I'm kind of like a cat that when injured, and not wanting attention, I prefer to flee to lick my wounds, but thanks to everyone who was there, I obtained immediate medical care and I'm very, very grateful. So, thank you MPD and MFD, as always, you go above and beyond to help those in need.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Making Strides
Good morning everyone. The last few days have been uneventful with the exception of some sickness that just goes along with the chemo treatments. I don't focus too much on that here because I truly believe that every person handles chemo differently and as such, I don't want to frighten or mislead anyone into thinking you won't get sick. I would like to think I'm a tough cookie pushing through this. I am committed to kicking its ass, not the other way around. 'Nough said.
Now, to my next little mission. On October 24th, 2009, I will walk in Brevard County's "Making Strides" Breast Cancer walk in Viera. Why is this such a big deal? It's my first walk - as a survivor. I will do this not just for myself, but for my sister, my mother, my cousins, and every other woman who has been affected by this horrible disease. My team's name is "Barry's Angels" - and we represent Barry University, where I attained my Bachelor's Degree. These are awesome women who have all been affected by breast cancer.
I've committed to donating/raising $100.....will you help me attain that by supporting me w/a $1 donation? If you can't, I understand, but having gone through this, I now know so much more than I ever thought I would. It's expensive, it kills, mammograms save lives (I'm a poster child for that!), and it is a sisterhood like no other.
Wishing you all a beautiful day....and as Mother Teresa once said, "I know that God will not give me anything more than I can handle, but I just wish he didn't trust me so much"......
Now, to my next little mission. On October 24th, 2009, I will walk in Brevard County's "Making Strides" Breast Cancer walk in Viera. Why is this such a big deal? It's my first walk - as a survivor. I will do this not just for myself, but for my sister, my mother, my cousins, and every other woman who has been affected by this horrible disease. My team's name is "Barry's Angels" - and we represent Barry University, where I attained my Bachelor's Degree. These are awesome women who have all been affected by breast cancer.
I've committed to donating/raising $100.....will you help me attain that by supporting me w/a $1 donation? If you can't, I understand, but having gone through this, I now know so much more than I ever thought I would. It's expensive, it kills, mammograms save lives (I'm a poster child for that!), and it is a sisterhood like no other.
Wishing you all a beautiful day....and as Mother Teresa once said, "I know that God will not give me anything more than I can handle, but I just wish he didn't trust me so much"......
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