Well, it has been one week since my final chemo treatment. I would love to say it has been uneventful, but I'd be lying. In keeping with tradition for 2009, God had other plans for the month of November. He decided to send me one more curve ball by adding in the freaking flu. WT****!!!
As if a dense and final dose of killer chemotherapy was not enough, apparently, he saw fit for me to get the flu and bring me to my knees for the last five days. I honestly don't believe I've ever been more ill in my life. Holy crap....sometimes I wonder what I have done, but it is not for me to ask why.....although in my angry moments I can get pretty pissy. This time around I was too weak to care. Between the chemo, the aching of the breasts, and the flu, nothing really mattered because I was too miserable. Anyway, I'm not whining, just trying to reflect how I've felt this week. There was a point where I nearly just gave up. I had a 103 temp, my body ached, my head hurt, my mouth is raw, and absolutely nothing tasted - at all.....and I was so, so so weak. Man, it sucked big time. My breast is in trouble and I'm doing everything I can to protect it, but the only thing I can really do is hope and wait. It's color is not good and I need 5 more weeks....God, give me just 5 weeks, please....
BUT on the upside, I'm getting back on the road to feeling better. One day out from the fever breaking, thank you Tamiflu and a Z-Pak, and Amoxicillan (yes, they have me on ALL 3) and I hope to regain some strength today so I can return to work tomorrow.
The plan is to have dinner w/friends and see the "New Moon" movie together - for which I will properly prepare myself with a MASK!!! Hey, I should fit right in, huh?
Anyway, as we draw nearer to Thanksgiving, I just want you all to know how grateful I am for having you in my lives, virtual and in person. You have been SO important throughout these past months and your love and support has been amazing. I am monumentally aware of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful support group. I am eternally grateful. I love you all.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Here in CA we can't get our H1N1 shot. Doctors aren't able to get it, only the government can dole it out. And, so it's being distributed in homeless shelters. If a cancer patient wants it, they have to stand in line in a homeless shelter with 5000 other people. It's sickening and sad that I can't get it from a doctor. But, your post made me realize I have to do it anyway.
ReplyDeleteArla, I am sorry you are not feeling better and God is still throughing challenges at you. You will overcome them!! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Hang in there girlfriend and feel better soon - very soon!
ReplyDeleteYour Friend, Donna